Booring....
Jokes for you to read.
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Hello everyone. Spend your 5 minutes in relaxing your brain by reading these jokes.
Comment on these jokes.
Q: What goes up and down but does not move?
A: Stairs
Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?
A: On a diet
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look a bit flushed.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I'll meet you at the corner.
Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?
A: Write on!
Q: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
A: Lonely
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two-tired!
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights!
Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
A: Someday my prints will come!
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!
Q: What part of the car is the laziest?
A: The wheels, because they are always tired!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?
A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!
Q: We're you long in the hospital?
A: No, I was the same size I am now!
Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
A: Keep your shirt on!
Q: What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!
Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: Because it held up some pants!
Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.
Q: Which hand is it better to write with?
A: Neither, it's best to write with a pen!
Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What makes the calendar seem so popular?
A: Because it has a lot of dates!
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
A: He wanted to find Pluto!
Q: What is green and has yellow wheels?
A: Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
A: Her nose!
Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night?
A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!
Q: Why do you go to bed every night?
A: Because the bed won't come to you!
Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!
Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
A: Because it's too cold out-tide!
Q: How do you cure a headache?
A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A: A minnie van!
Q: Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming?
A: Because they take too long to change!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: To catch up on his sleep!
Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
A: He wanted to make a clean get away!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer.
Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
A: Build a sty-scraper!
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
A: An udder failure.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: They are always stuffed!
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court!
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch!
Q: Why did the snake cross the road?
A: To get to the other ssssssside!
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
Q: What do you call a cow that won't give milk?
A: A milk dud!
Q: When is a well dressed lion like a weed?
A: When he's a dandelion (dandy lion)
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: Pleased to eat you.
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!
Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh?
A: Because it has its own scales!
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because there was a KFC on the other side!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show everyone he wasn't chicken!
Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown?
A: Because he tasted funny!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!
Q: What animals are on legal documents?
A: Seals!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A: A pie-thon!
Q: What is 'out of bounds'?
A: An exhausted kangaroo!
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
A: Bison!
Q: Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?
A: He thought it was a lion!
Q: How do bees get to school?
A: By school buzz!
Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
A: B!
Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?
A: Frogs, they croak every night!