🍕Laboring Pizza🍕

Happy Labor Day humans! I'm only writing this because I simply cannot get any shut eye. Probably from all that disgusting chocolate I ate.

I never really understood Labor Day. I mean, the name. The word Labor is in the name, and yet we get a day off. Not complaining. I'm all for 4-day weekends. But the people could've picked a better name, like, "Off Day" or "Restful Day" or "Die Pacificus."

I was thinking about pizza today too. Don't ask me why. Oh, the warm smell of hot tomato sauce mingling with mozzarella cheese.

Despite the smell, pizza is pretty deceiving though. You smell it, gaze at it and all, but then you take a bite into it. 

At first it's fine. You crunch the crust, and taste the juicy tomato sauce combined with the cheese. But when you pull your mouth away from the slice:

*SLAP*

The deceitful cheese has come off of the pizza and slapped onto your chin. Great. Now you have a naked pizza crust, cheese hanging out of your mouth, a stained shirt collar, and an oily chin. 

To make things worse, your oh-so-helpful friend stares at you, and gives you a knife and fork.

"Here, cheesebeard. Maybe you'll have more luck with these." You can tell that he's trying not to laugh.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that? Maybe it's cause normal human beings eat pizza with their hands."

Seriously now. Eating pizza with a fork and knife ruins it. You can't dig into that juiciness the same way.

Nevertheless you take the tools. But to substitute, you chew with your mouth open, making as much noise as possible.

Scrulup. Glug. Schnuluck.

Might as well have fun chewing disgustingly if you can't eat with your hands like a good citizen.

That gave me the willies XP

next

Hahahaha

That's what Keith Vaz said...

Not sure which is worse.. this or the popcorn. The popcorn, I think.

they will all become irrelevant, sooner or later, the sooner the better for all of us

@PlayChessPoorly Haha! Cheers mate!

@Dartmouth98 Oh, definitely the popcorn. Vomit is a lot grosser than oil slapped over your face. Bleck. Just gotta know though, did you like it?

Notice: I based part of this on a book I read that had a discussion about the pros and cons of pizza. Strangely enough, I forget the name of the book.

No, it's not about a job or willingness to work, it's about respect, you don't respect people and there's nothing we can do, not now, not ever.

I don't quite get your meaning @lerklerk1

Try harder.

On my story? Okay, I do respect your opinion, but this was literally a story I came up with while free writing. I don't expect it to be good.

Yes, ultimately, I knew the popcorn was worse, but I decided to leave my wording alone as a figure of speech.

What were you asking "did [I] like it" about?

Any part. I mean, why would you read through my blogs if you knew it was gross?

Not being clairvoyant, I had no idea what the post was about; all I saw was some innocent title with the word Easter in it... 

And, of course, "Laboring Pizza" heralds no warning to unsuspecting readers (me!) who are lured by their curiosity. 

Nevertheless, why such propensity for the grossness? Tmustbyinborn.

Haha, I see XD I guess that was originally my idea 😇

You did get far enough in the story to see the "Scrulup Glug Schnuluk" so some part of it must've been interesting 😊

Yes, I did keep reading, to give the text a fair criticism; I thought to myself, "perchance there may be some redeeming value in all this."

I ate pizza today