Leaving, temporarily.👋

"So here we are again; It’s always such a pleasure."

It’s been a good run, hasn’t it? Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this is no different, even if temporary. You see, I’m leaving temporarily. From today until sometime in the fall, before Sept. 1st. This is for a few reasons. First off, lots of other people are leaving for the summer, and I see no reason to hang around in a ghost town. Secondly, it’s the perfect time to better myself, physically, mentally, and in my habits. Finally, I’ve decided I will be taking this time to attempt to overcome and accept the grief I’ve been feeling. I’ve been considering counseling for a while, and I’ve decided I will get it. Wish me luck! But for now, let’s go on a walk down Memory Lane.

I remember the day when I first joined. I was sitting in the library with Tomomi, who you all know as Teri (@teri-udon). We had just played an OTB match, and she brought up chess.com. She mentioned her moving accounts, and that I should join with her old account. That’s where the name @hashbrowninator comes from. After a few matches and puzzles, she introduced me to OTF. I wasn’t a fan at first, but as time went on, I grew more and more a fan. It interested me, the community on the site. And eventually, I became a well-integrated member of OTF. If I were to name everyone I had met here, we’d be here a while. So instead, I wanna extend a big thanks to Gray, Tanuki, Trash, Muffin, and Dead, as well as everyone else.

It was around November that I had started joining clubs en masse, and that brought be around to Kasane’s Karaoke. I spoke a bit in notes for a few days, but thought nothing of it, until I met Miku and Teto. (@The_Whole_Hatsune_Miku and @TETO-DRILL respectively). We hit it off, and I spent almost every day from then on speaking with them.

Around February, I created Cairo’s Concerto. A little passion project heavily based on Kasa Kara, with a basis of no strict rules. And it was fun to manage and handle a club, and such. It was around this time that I met Jontavious and Connie/Yatta. It was a lot, but it was fun.

(Apologies in advance for the lack of detail in the next part. I don’t want to write about this, and it’s tough for me, but I believe it needs to be done. I will fill you in as much as necessary. Please consider the lack of information I have, and be considerate with your input.)

Mid-March. Teri shuts herself off from everybody. She leaves all of her socials and accounts on all websites and other forms of communication. She doesn’t respond to texts or calls. Only after she opens up to me again do I find that the same illness that her mother had, she has. It’s a lung cancer, a malignant tumour, and it was missed on previous scans. It’s in a later stage, and she doesn’t have much time left. With that, she moves away, both physically and socially. She no longer has any social media, she moved to another city/town, and I haven’t seen her since. She’s predicted to pass around this October.

It’s an odd thing to be haunted by the ghost of somebody still alive.

And I miss her more than you’d believe. And I’ve been struggling with that for the last few months, even to the point of considering drastic measures. But I’ve carried on. And here I am. I’ve been grieving, but I’ve finally found a way I might reach acceptance. So I’ll press on.

My life deteriorated significantly in the wake of the situation. When I couldn’t control the loss of a close friend, I felt as though I couldn’t control anything. Grades slipped, I became a slob, and my relationships went down the drain. I stopped going to the gym, and I couldn’t bring myself out of bed. So now I’m reforming. Over this summer, I’ll manage all that and be a functioning member of society again.

And with that, I’d like to eliminate something I can’t handle, until i’m ready to handle it again. Chess.com as a whole. But! I will be back, and ready for all of you. So don’t miss me too much, okay? And I bet, that she’s thinking about you too. Have a great summer. Go out, touch grass, hand with your friends, and enjoy yourself. Don’t waste away here. Moderation is key.

Have a wonderful summer, guys. I’ll miss you.

Sorry to hear this, but I think you’re doing the right thing.

I had figured that Gracie had told you.

TERI NOOOOOOOOO

Well hash it was fun being with u …see u in some months TAKE CARE

Bye. We'll see u on sep 1st

wt?

Rip teri!!!

byyyyeeeee

Oh, how we laughed and laughed.

Except, I wasn't laughing.

Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice...

🫡 see you soon teri

Since I was on a break, I was wondering what had happened to Teri. (ToT) And before I left, a lot of OTFers thought that you, Hash, were a guy..? (‘-‘)? 🌺 [just wondering since your pfp is an anime girl] 🤔

Uhm... I am. 🙃

I hate that I can hear that gif 😭🙏

Anyways, good luck!

Good luck Hash, enjoy your summer break. I hope you work things out.

man sybau bro if you don't give a sh then DON'T post man

thats so disrespectful to say in a situation like this, clearly you wouldn't understand cause you're probably just a 9-year-old whose already braindead by youtube shorts

hope stuff gets better, hash.