Let's Start Another War

There aren't enough wars going on in the world so let's start another one! Did you know that the Phenolomorphins start to peel their hard boil eggs by first cracking them on the wide bottom side rather than on the narrow top. We clearly can't allow that! My only objection to war is that it interferes with my chess what with the noise made by the gunshots and the bombs. And sometimes tournaments are interupted by buildings collapsing when they are hit by bombs. So maybe on the other hand we should stop all wars so as not to disturb us chessplayers. 

I'd rather not!

Dr Frank, war is only ever good on the chessboard!

War, what is it good for?

What most repulsive about the Phenolomorphins is not how they crack their eggs, but their inferior intestinal flora that causes the eggs to make them obscenely gassy. They eat enough eggs that the global temperature has begun to rise, and one can scarcely exit their home without retching when the winds blow down form their lands into ours. We need to teach them, once and for all, that en passant refers only to pawns, and not to gastric distress.

Yes.

LOL

Yay! Let's start a war everybody! People will die! *evil laugh*

That's kind of the point, yeah. Everyone dies; we seek to make it a group experience.

You don't need protectionist tariffs if other countries have nothing left to export.

Instead of spending money on wars why not use the money to fix all of the bridges that are falling apart throughout America. Also many roads and highways need repair. And lets not forget the homeless. Lets build new housing for the homeless and those who have low incomes. These are all positive ways that we could be spending money. Where do we get the money? Tax the rich. If a man is making millions of dollars a year, why not make him give some of it back to his country.Wouldn't that be more patriotic than waving flags and killing people?

Unfortunately that appears to be true!