Off-Topical Thunder: OTF Writes a Movie!

[NOTE: The title of this production is an allusion to the movie Tropical Thunder, the plot of which is the making of a movie about the war in Vietnam... producer discretion advised. New people, READ THE WHOLE POST!!!]

(Link for people on mobile: https://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/off-topical-thunder-otf-writes-a-movie)

Hallo all!

It is I, your Lord- as in medieval feudalism, not religiously -with a new, hopefully fun challenge today:

WE'RE GOING TO WRITE UP A MOVIE!

Now, before you shake your fist and grab the pitchforks and torches over "just another forum game" (which, in fairness, this in part is), I've got some plans for this...

Firstly, it will have to be written in actual screenplay format- probably no challenges there, many of us have used it before, but for unfamiliar people...

SOMENAME: SOMESTATEMENT

Dialogue.

SOMENAME: [SOMEACTION]

Actions.

SOMENAME [SOMEACTION]: SOMESTATEMENT

Action and dialogue at the same time- e.g., gestures.

[SOMEEFFECT]

Effects- text popups, camera panning, musical numbers, et cetera.

...alright, that's all you really need to know. The second, more important stipulation is that the movie needs to follow a coherent plot! It can be any genre you decide on- mystery, action, comedy, or even, Grob forbid, romance, just make sure there's an agreed-upon plot... if there's nonsense that suddenly interrupts, then if it strikes me as funny, I'll let the lot of you spin it as a plot twist, but if not, to the trash bin of history it goes, and it shall be ignored. Also, if you do something extremely stupid or outlandish here ("hard to describe, but I know it when I see it"), I will confiscate it to be ignored... if I use the rook-pin reaction on a comment, that means it's to be ignored (unless it's too late).

Lastly, make sure the movie has an ending point at which we can conclude and start a new one- that'll be the best way to keep it fun over a long time period without resorting to chaos.

To start the FIRST movie:

[John MacBurry is shown walking down Algernon Street, whistling and apparently at ease, though ominous and dark but relatively soft brass music plays.]

It takes a lot of effort to disguise a person-above-you thread this well...

(In all seriousness, it took me 20 or something minutes to get the post looking this crisp, I'm actually a hair proud of myself)

You really created this thread with the hardest-to-read font ever.

So, how's this work? You just create a movie and add onto it like a 'person above you' thread?

Pretty much, though it has to keep up a coherent plot (never gonna happen tbh) and end at some point so it can start over so it can stay healthily active without devolving into add-x-words-to-the-story-esque chaos.

If you're implying that this is spam, please take a moment to consider that the OP is more than 2 sentences long and has requirements for each contribution to make sense- the standards are higher than "I just slam on the keyboard and magic happens".

(Also, bump.)

Bu-da-da-da-ump

Ts is too complicated for our little minds

Think hard. I know it hurts, but if you simply use your other 9 braincells, I know you can do it!

oay how about this

the quest for the missing cocai- i mean sandwich. yeah...

We'll do the title after the end of the movie is written. If you contribute often, maybe you can bend the plot, somewhat, to your will.

[Sigh] Bump.

Ohhhhhh. I'm sorry for misconstruing your statement... my bad.

What is this place?

The corpse of a failed forum game.