relax and be yourself

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Tomtalk
I should say I used to bully and I hope that I'm not now.

I don't write anyone off. We live and learn and it's a truly twisted sick person that is deliberately hurting people.

I think bullies generally are people that feel weak and are trying to make themselves feel stronger.

That was the case with me. It never works. It's a vicious circle. Until you are pleasant to people you don't expect them to be pleasant to you.
Tomtalk
I'm walking to the bus now. It's a little chilly though I have a warm coat. Must be awful if you are on the street.
Tomtalk
Oh think twice. It's another day for you and me in paradise.
Tomtalk
These millionaire songwriters that ramble on about how unfortunate people are.

How about giving them your money then? Instead of exploiting their suffering to make money!

Shame on you Phil Collins. I suppose he might have donated the profits to charity. If so Sir I humbly apologise and bestow upon you a knighthood.

Arise Sir Phil😉
Tomtalk
I hope you guys are enjoying the Christmas build up. Christmas is hard for many people. For me sometimes. It's a case of look at what you could have won. It's tough.

You know look at all these people with wonderful friends and families. That's hard if you are isolated.

Well all are welcome here. I love you guys. I expect I can't post much over Christmas though. I hope to catch you guys a little at least.
Tomtalk
I like talking here when I'm drunk. It's fun! I hope to do that over the holiday season.
Tomtalk
Oh the weather outside is frightful. But the fire is so delightful. I've got no place to go. Let it snow let it snow let it snow.
Tomtalk
Travelling on the bus now. There's a guy with his feet on the chair to the right of me. That's rude I know. I wonder what he would say if I said hey that's unfair!

I think that perhaps it's true that love and fear are opposites.

I want to be able to help people that might get their clothes dirty off this guy but I'm afraid that he'll kick off.

Beat me up or something. A fight might be entertaining. Bruce Lee used to fight for fun.

I ain't Bruce Lee. He'd probably knock my teeth out.
Tomtalk
My teeth aren't great. I'm getting old. I can't create a good photo lately.

If I smile I show my teeth which aren't so wonderful. I have lines around my mouth. I used to lift my eyebrows which improved my looks a bit but lately I show wrinkles.

I suppose it's only natural that over time looks diminish. Though it's true I've seen ladies in their fifties and sixties too that are absolutely attractive. In fact more attractive to me at least than any twenty year old.
Tomtalk
It's concerning when you take a look out of the window of the bus and don't know where you are.
Tomtalk
I'm feeling angry and unhappy. But what can you do? Some things aren't in your control.
Tomtalk
Tomorrow I have to give a talk in front of a lot of people. They're just people though aren't they? And I'm going to be working with a very senior manager soon. She's lovely though.

I wish I was more polite though. I feel I'll insult her through not being an amenable host.

You know can I get you a drink that type of thing. Still I mean well. I trust that I'll be kind.

I'm looking forward to it overall. She's lovely.

Some people feel you shouldn't be kind to managers but ultimately they are just people too.
Tomtalk
We were having an interesting conversation yesterday and I wanted to talk some more about this experience idea. Consciousness.

Well as you know I believe that the idea of self is akin to the idea of soul and neither exist.

However it's clear that experience does. Who could argue that they've never smelled a beautiful rose.

I'll put that more beautifully!

Enjoyed the fragrance of a beautiful rose?

Do you remember boo when I told a lady that she looked like she could sell perfume? I'm such a smooth talker! 😝
Tomtalk
I think pulp alluded to the idea that because we have this hunger in the pit of our stomach when we haven't ate we exist. I'd like to look at this sort of idea.
Tomtalk
Okay think of your consciousness. I mean it's a bit like a movie screen no? You know sometimes like when you faint there's nothing on it. When you sleep but aren't dreaming.

And then it's forever changing isn't it? One day you are at work another at the beach. Your thoughts are continually changing along with your feelings.

You have different physical sensations.

So this movie screen if you like has throughout your life a different image. Never two images absolutely the same. Like snowflakes I guess.
Tomtalk
This experience clearly does exist.

I think it's about this idea of non duality too.

So for example when you are at the beach this experience I'm describing isn't just about what's coming from you. Your thoughts and feelings and physical reactions. It's also about what's around you.

So what really is is the experience which contains the sea the sun and the sky as well as your thoughts your feelings and your physical reactions.

In reality you aren't separate from nature even at the point you believe yourself to exist which is at your very consciousness.
Tomtalk
I suppose one could say that, though perhaps we can accept that when we really think about it our experience which is perhaps all there truly is which we could class as ourselves is a part of nature, my experience is separate from your experience.

Perhaps it's this fragmented consciousness idea that more than anything promotes this seductive concept of self.
Tomtalk
I'm so lonely.
Tomtalk
Anyway I mean you can see your tv and I can't so that's a clear indication that the self exist of course.

I'm sure that's not true but it'll be interesting perhaps to see if I can find an analogy that maybe makes sense of this distorted perception of the nature of reality.
Tomtalk
I'm thinking of that photo of charlotte's face. Wow that lady was attractive!