And now…the fake news.
With Candy Kane.
Good evening.
I'm Candy Kane.
Sneak Preview from Elenin Studios…V2 Lives!! Coming this Fall (?)
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Scientists now admit that the world is flat.
This picture was just released
from secret government archives
that clearly shows that
in the year 1492…
Christopher Columbus sailed off the edge.
He was never seen again.
In other news…space aliens have decided
to end all life on earth.
More on this as details come in.
And tonight...
from Rome…
Elenin remains locked away
in a catacomb...
somewhere beneath the Vatican.
And finally tonight…
Our staff here
at the Elenin News Network
would like to wish everyone a
very happy New Year!
Yes…2025 is going to be
an exciting year!!!
This is Candy Kane.
Goodnight!
2025..?
Beneath the catacombs...??
Holy Crap
I gotta get out more
Effective immediately; All members of the "I am PAT" group have been upgrated to honorary members of the super bowl champions "New England Patriots" football team for the remainder of the yr.
If you show up to any of their games you will get in free
My local Barnes & Noble hired some mods from Chess.com recently. 
BREAKING NEWS! Cleaveland Police are looking for a man who committed a murder on Facebook.
They say he was last seen heading for Chess.com.
It is IMPERATIVE that you log off IMMEDATELY. It is not safe here. If your computer freezes and you can't log off, then hunker down in place. DO NOT let anyone post in your thread even if they identify themselves as a Chess.com mod. TRUST NO ONE!
They caught his avatar, so we're safe.
This just in...
the prime suspect in the
Cleveland Facebook murder
is none other than mascot Chief Wahoo...
He was taken into custody at his teepee early this afternoon
and brought to Cuyahoga County Jail in downtown Cleveland.
Bail was set at $1 Million.
****UPDATE****
An hour later, Manager Terry Francona
of the Cleveland Indians...
arrived at the jail...with several of his players.
Chief Wahoo was then released into Francona's custody.
Court date has been set for May 26.
That's creepy Elenin. The real suspect actually resembles that Indian mascot.
Don’t let the smile fool ya’.
Apr 18, 2017
0
#1496
RonaldJosephCote wrote:
BREAKING NEWS! Cleaveland Police are looking for a man who committed a murder on Facebook. They say he was last seen heading for Chess.com. It is IMPERATIVE that you log off IMMEDATELY. It is not safe here. If your computer freezes and you can't log off, then hunker down in place. DO NOT let anyone post in your thread even if they identify themselves as a Chess.com mod. TRUST NO ONE!
he offed himself in PA.
See...I TOLD you I was innocent!
In a related story...
Mr. Red...
was arrested last night in his home
in downtown Cincinnati.
Mr. Red has been accused of
Twittering while Intoxicated 
and resisting arrest. Sources say that when Mr. Red
saw the police...he tried to make a run for it.
When Mr. Red was questioned as to why...
he then borrowed a line from Bruce Springsteen and said
"Baby, I was born to run".
A Court date has been set for May 26.
*******************************************************************************************
This is Dan Abrams with "LIVE P.D." Tonight we're riding with the Chess.com mods in Cleaveland. 
The're about to pull over this car that's been weaving all over the forums and not posting in their lane. 
The're not gonna take any chances with this poster. The registration came back as a stolen vehicle. 
A number of passerbys are making telephone videos just in case. 
Posting paraphanalia was found ALL over the car. He'll be arrested, booked, and arrainged on Chess.com tomorrow. In other news, the REAL PAT was found alive and well in San Diego.
In the beginning,
there was popcorn.
And God said it was good.