THE JOHN BEAR'S ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH BULLIES IN SCHOOL

OFTEN TIMES WHEN JOHN BEAR FACTORY IS ASLEEP IN CAVE DEEP IN WOODS LITTLE CHILDREN WILL RUN INTO CAVE AND UP TO THE JOHN BEAR AND ASK "JOHN BEAR FACTORY, I HAVE BULLIES AT MY SCHOOL, HOW SHOULD I COPE?" 

AND JOHN BEAR TELLS THE KIDS, "WHENEVER YOU'RE AT SCHOOL AND A BULLY STARTS BULLYING YOU AROUND AND GIVING YOU TROUBLE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS START FIERCELY ATTACKING THEM VIOLENTLY OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE SHOUTING "THAT'S THAT THE JOHN BEAR STYLE YOU EVER ELUSIVE, EXCLUSIVE CROCODILIAN!!!! THAT'S THE THRASHING AND CRASHING OF THAT EVER ELUSIVE JOHN BEAR TO YOU CROCODILIAN!!!!"  AND JOHN BEAR GIVES THIS ADVICE TO THE CHILDREN TO VISIT JOHN BEAR IN CAVE AND NEVER DO CHILDREN RETURN.  JOHN BEAR KNOWS THEIR BULLY TROUBLES ARE NO MORE!!!!

That's really good advice.

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THE JOHN BEAR HAS HAD INTESTINAL GASTRINITIONAL BELLIFICAL ISSUES WITH FARTS FROM EATING TOO MANY BERRIES AND MUSHROOMS. THE MOREL MUSHROOM ESPECIALLY GIVES JOHN BEAR THE FARTS BECAUSE OF THE HOLES AND TRAPPED AIR OF THE MUSHROOM.

THEREFORE THE JOHN BEAR HAS HAD THE NICKNAME "THE MASS TOOTER" OF THE FOREST DUE TO MY UNCONTROLLABLE FARTS WHICH SCARE ALL FORESTS DWELLING ANIMALS, AS MY FARTS ALSO RESEMBLE THE BEMOANING OF A BROKEN-HEARTED BEAR.

AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S NO FUN BEING A MASS TOOTER. THE JOHN BEAR CAN'T BELIEVE BEING A SCHOOL SHOOTER WOULD BE ANY BETTER.

THE JOHN BEAR COUNTRY LOVES MILK!!! RAWR!!!! IF YOU HAVE MILK GIVE IT HERE HOOMUN!!!! PLEASE AND IN EXCHANGE I WILL GIVE YOU *PULLS FUR OUT OF CHEST AND HANDS YOU BIG PILE OF WHITE FUR* IN EXCHANGE FOR THE MILK I WILL GIVE YOU THIS MAGICAL WHITE FUR YOU CAN RUB ON YOURSELF JOHN BEAR STYLE!!

Locked. Seems to have derailed a bit

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