The Killer Nose-Eating Gerbil From Hell

My friend Paddy wanted to clean his Gerbil's cage, so he carefully transferred the Gerbil to a cardboard box, and put a heavy book across the top of the box to prevent the Gerbil from jumping out.

Another friend called Sandy dropped in for a visit, and asked what was in the box. Paddy said "Careful... there's a Gerbil in there."

Sandy said "Yeah?" and took the book off the top of the box, leaned over it and peered inside.

The Gerbil jumped straight up out of the box, latched onto Sandy's face, and locked its teeth into the septum of Sandy's nose... the fleshy part that separates the two nostrils.

Sandy shouted "Yeahhh!", grabbed the Gerbil and tried to pull it off his face... but it had locked its teeth into his nose and Sandy couldn't pull it off without ripping his own nose off. Sandy staggered around in circles, swearing luridly, yanking on the Gerbil and bleeding profusely.

Paddy reached for his lit cigarette in the ashtray, puffed it a couple of times to get it glowing hot, then reached over, lifted the Gerbil's tail and touched the lit cigarette to the Gerbil's anus.

The Gerbil went "Eeeek!"... which required opening its mouth... and Paddy whisked it off of Sandy's face, slam-dunked it into the box, and put the heavy book back on top of the box.

The moral of the story?... well, I'm not sure. "Do not peer into a box full of Gerbil if you value your nose", perhaps?

When I was a kid, I heard carrying a rabbits foot in your pocket was good luck, but kissing one ???

The moral should be to stop abusing furry creatures