The Revolution: Key Developments

I must say that I am a great fan of the revolution on here, currently headed by Dubious Duck. Limiting the posting on the forums of people in Scandinavia, disposing of Erik, overthrowing the mods, and prohibiting playing chess (and only playing checkers!) on the site. However, although these are all great ideas, our leader is sadly inadequate.

DubiousDuck has recently made several Dubious desicions. Firstly, he banned me from his groupThe Bill of Righteousness, when I was one of the most active, one of the most revolutionary members. Secondly, DubiousDuck's record on chess.com is well known, and he has not done anything to erase this record. This is Duck's fifth account on the site, the previous ones being muted and closed. With such a track record on the forums, it is better not to have Duck as leader of the revolution, much less as the leader of chess.com. 

However, there is also the fact that Dubious-Duck is too obvious a troll. I do major trolling, but in the middle of doing that, I actually post something useful. Duck doesn't. Perhaps that's the reason why this is my first account, and this is Duck's fifth?

I think enough has been said already. I am clearly a better leader of the Revolution than DubiousDuck. Do we want a revolution, or do we want to say "Ducky Duck, Quack Quack"?

And so I announce: DOWN WITH DUCK! UP WITH ALEKHINE!

Vote Alekhine for president, or I will hit you with this:

WE SHALL CONQUER! REMEMBER THAT YOU ALL, WE SHALL CONQUER!

This was the first post in my great thread, "Down with Duck! Up with Alekhine!", in which I called forth the great and noble members of chess.com to fight a war against the leadership of chess.com.

This thread will track updates on the leadership. Read, set, revolution!

From Dubious-Duck:

"Dear Robert

Your level of ignorance is truly astounding to the point where I am considering taking the most ignorant member title away from RJC.

The Revolution was never about overthrowing the mods but to moderate the mods.

We do not intend to ban chess from the site ,chess is only banned in the group.

Scandinavian peoples will be able to make five posts a week as long as they are interesting or funny.

Please read the mission statement again , this time with comprehension.( it is that thing where you understand what is being said)

Anybody that knows me will tell you I hate trolls and have actively hunted them in the past. 

I am not saying I hate you, because you are not on a level to wipe a troll's backside yet but I am saying I am not a troll.

The fact that you are a first account holder just screams ' scaredy cat' and also ' goody two shoes'

You would not last a day in mute prison while I have proven myself.

Your lack of insight and ability to read is the main cause for your current pain and suffering and probably also because you are an immature idiot.

I told you the group does not allow kids to join but you insisted.

The only reason you were ever in the group was to be made an example off : we don't tolerate kids or trolls or kids who think they are trolls. 

I hope this clears things up and helps you in your journey for attention and some form of recognition.

Dubious-Duck

P.S. Moron."

Response:

"We have a crazy duck in our midst"

"Ducky, it's too late to do anything. The revolution has started! I am the leader! I have numerous supporters, while you are bare and helpless, left to starve...

I honestly feel sorry for you, Ducky, I honestly do. Do be so hopelessly skewed in your perspective of life is quite an achievement, but it is not a good achievement.

However, even though I regret leaving you behind, depriving you of any of the happiness you have left (which you achieved by trolling), I feel that the great revolution will continue without you.

Perhaps we can find you a job cleaning the dustbins or something or other, perhaps you will in some way be able to assist the great revolution, but you will never be the leader. 

You may ask how the revolution has started. Well, it's starting slowly. For now, I am slowly achieving contacts among the moderators, with other members. Something like a secret service. 

It will take a long time to finally moderate the mods (which is what I man by "overthrowing the mods", i.e., removing their power). It will take a long time to have erik's dirty ears next to me. But finally, we will achieve a glorious dream, a glorious dream, I tell you!

Scandinavian people will be able to post in the forums (five times per week), as long as it is as ridicolous as the duck before me, but only if they change their nationality. The moderators and erik will still think that they are in power, but they won't be. Both chess and checkers will be played occasionally, but most of the action will be on the forums.

It will take an estimated five years to complete the growing of the revolution. Another two are estimated two overthrow the mods. Another year to get erik's swollen ear, and another three years to gain complete control of the site.

This journey is a dangerous matter. Many will have their account's cloused, I envision that, yes I do. But you should rather join and be brave rather than sit at home, without prison. Together, the people and I will achieve a great moment in the history of the world, that is: complete control.

So join me! I cannot do this by myself and with just my many supporters. We need brave people like you who will practically rip themselves to shreds to help the great, glorious revolution, who will be the ones who dispose of the moderators and of erik. Join me, and live forever remembered for your greatness! Join me, and you will have everything you will want! Join me, at last, for the great, glorious, and magnaminious goal that we have before us, to bring erik's incompetent supremacy to an end. Join me, I cry, Join the Great Revolution!"

Jennbeloved and Cattus-Norwegicus:

"Wow just look at the descriptive writing. This is a troll. (But I do admire your ability to write such bs, no s/.)"

"Jenn, perfectly clear as always. Alekhine the latest troll to start whinging about being vastly inferior to the duck."

Response:

Ah, you simpleton, you cannot comprehend! I have posted numerous posts helping the noble people on the forums in the ultimate quest to become better at chess. I am not a troll full-time, only part-time! But I feel that Duck is a horrible troll and deserves to be demoted by us great, noble people on chess.com! 

Group mdae:

https://www.chess.com/groups/home/private-team

This group is headquarters for the revolution!

Critisism of the Duck:

How the duck thinks of himself:

How everyone else views the Duck:

Latest:

bunicula:

"The deluged wil stay deluged. The duck will prevail with or without an ark".

Response:

The duck will prevail against what? I think that I have the answer, my friends. The duck will perhaps prevail over his monstrous stupidity, perhaps the duck will prevail against his rather large bill and mouth, perhaps he will get a prison job, perhaps the duck will prevail over the unenlightened (of which there will be few, once I am done with my capmpaign!), perhaps the duck will prevail over his inability to fly, perhaps the duck will prevail over his webbed and generally dirty feet, but there is one thing that the duck will not prevail against: The Dark Age of Chess.com.

Yes, I see it, it approaches. It approaches, slowly, slowly, like a comet several light-years away, but with its slowness comes sureness. Yes, I see it! The Age of Darkness, the Age of Unenlightenment, it comes ever closer on chess.com! 

It is up to one person, who knows the signs, to prevent this dark age. One englightened person realizes, and perhaps that person will be able to shine light through the dark ages. That person is me.

The day approaches closer and closer when the mods will shut us down, when that big-mouthed site manager erik will start charging us ever more for membership, when the members themselves will stand in dissaray, unable to fight back against this monstrosity.

And yet, we have a slimmer of hope: The slimmest slimmer of light that ever existed! Fear not, my friends, we shall be saved! But only by the right desicion of our members...

You see, I have seen: One person is supported by many, understands what is happening on chess.com, and how sees the dangers of our time. This anonymous, yet still amazing, gentlemen, will guide you through this time. The other one, a gruesome duck, will simply hopelessly quack while many members will be muted and will have their accounts closed.

The choice is yours, dear members. Shall you select the one who will bring a great age upon us, who will conquer chess.com and who shall do many great and noble things with his power...? Or shall you select the young child we see in the form of a duck, who will simply quack and will hand our ice cream? As I say, the choice is yours. I have made myself clear to you. There is only one thing to be done: The right desicion from you, dear member. 

I went to the grocery store today and they had carambolas. I was pleasantly surprised.

Seems to me you lack originality and have decided to completely piggy back someone else's humor. Tisk tisk.

but he's bob, he's new, he's alkaline.