DD will be here shortly to promote that ambiguously looking ♟ made from catnip
the sad tale of the pawn
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Heck, this is funny
Cry cry cry.
So sad indeed. (Actually it's pretty funny)
So sad indeed. (Actually it's pretty funny)
Jun 23, 2017
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#6
What you are describing here is like a scene from Apocalypse Now
the horror
Jun 23, 2017
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#7
The pawn next to the bishop can never walk straight again....
What I particularly hate about the bishop is how their real life counterparts represent all that is oppressive twisted and evil yet on the chess board they are totally accepted as cool.
What if we had a "Hitler" piece !? What then!? Would we praise it like we do the bishop ?
Jun 23, 2017
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#8
Dubious-Duck wrote:
The pawn next to the bishop can never walk straight again....
What I particularly hate about the bishop is how their real life counterparts represent all that is oppressive twisted and evil yet on the chess board they are totally accepted as cool.
What if we had a "Hitler" piece !? What then!? Would we praise it like we do the bishop ?
not walking straight has other legal implications - the victim gets tormented further.
unsure about a hitler piece but ...
Jun 23, 2017
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#9
MY German is a bit rustic...." you cannot feed an entire panzer division on crumbs even if you are the the Uber Commandant for life" ?
Jun 23, 2017
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#10
lofina_eidel_ismail wrote:
DD will be here shortly to promote that ambiguously looking ♟ made from catnip
But what will I promote it to?
The carrot queen, the underwear elephant, a bread knight or a toilet roll rook.....?
The part about pawns promoting to queens because of a gender identity conflict made me lol
Jun 23, 2017
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#12
Growlithe99 wrote:
The part about pawns promoting to queens because of a gender identity conflict made me lol
well , that is a bit awkward
https://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/lol-really
Jun 23, 2017
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#14
HueyWilliams wrote:
Is the King powerless to do anything about this?
Well the king has his own cross to bear, and on his head too.
Jun 23, 2017
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#15
Chairman-Miaow wrote:
you wouldn't want to be an altar boy reading this.
I hear many altar boys end up running pawnshops after realising the impermanence of the material & sensual world.
Jun 23, 2017
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#16
exnos wrote:
A likely story, if ever I've heard one !!
Well it's been happening throughout chess history. Just wanted to put a spotlight on it.
Jun 23, 2017
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#17
Apuckerlips Now is one film i should never have seen. it was like "hey man, how's yer head hangin ?" much preferred Predator, that was just like "hey man, slip me some skin".
Jun 23, 2017
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#18
Chairman-Miaow wrote:
Apuckerlips Now is one film i should never have seen. it was like "hey man, how's yer head hangin ?" much preferred Predator, that was just like "hey man, slip me some skin".
Whoa! But where else can you see a geeky han solo?
The pawns stand still with the bishop breathing down on their necks. Diagonally diabolic & two faced, the bishop pretends to be pious on one hand & abuses the pawns in his charge on the other. It is rumored that the bishop's favorite pawn from the last game is given night duties in the tower or rook nearby who gleefully collects rent from the bishop for said services. What happens there nobody knows but it is said that it is this favored pawn that gets promoted to a night (or knight) and is kept right beside the bishop and can never walk straight again.
The pawns in their eagerness to escape, leap 2 strides initially but knowing they can never go back, from there on they tread carefully. When they see this initial leap of an enemy pawn landing beside them, they cut them down in a confused mix of hatred for the enemy & compassion for a fellow pawn who would be getting closer to their own bishop. Every enemy they see in close quarters remind them of the evil bishop & they attack them diagonally.
When they reach the end of the board and they are free from the clutches of the bishop, they are free to be who they want to be. Just as the bullied grow up to be bullies, some choose to be bishops to torment other pawns. some owing to an identity conflict caused by all the abuse choose to become the queen. some realize the money is where it is all at and decide to become the rook. then some, envious of the bishop's favorite, become the knight.