All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
The Zen/Joke Game
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So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key.
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
If money does not grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
The greatest achievement is selflessness.
In criticizing, the teacher is hoping to teach. That's all.
Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated that that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.
The true meaning of the precepts is not just that one should refrain from drinking alcohol,
but also from getting drunk on nirvana.
MarkGroverPowers wrote:
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
Put me down for 5 points 
There's a blonde and a brunette. The brunette says "Guess what, I was with a Brazilian last night!" The blonde says "Really? Wow! How many is a Brazilian?"
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
"Confucius say: He who laugh last not get joke" -Chris Farley
The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. (A good mental approach to chess huh?)
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom.