tomtrytostay

I was interested though in what this whole I am love experience was all about though. Also I was interested in the fact that I'd been documenting choices and I'd found all choice had disappeared. 

My experience was that I was naturally love and that free will was an illusion. 

So it appealed to me to talk about my experiences. Hence the threads!

anyway I talked things through with you guys. I looked into the science. Did read a lot of articles Nikrpit and posted many of them here. Finally I came to the conclusion I'd only know that everything happened naturally when the universe was created and that everything happening now was a natural thing. 

That helped a bit. At least I knew the world wasn't about anything supernatural. But I still felt I wasn't really sure what I was , or what the experiences were about. 

 OCD or not--most humans suffered from ADD/ADHD to some extent, from a transformational vantage point.

  The point is that the illusion is still there.

in my opinon it's not quite as simple as that Nikprit. Anyway continuing. 

  You never explained what you mean by love, Tom.

so what I thought was hey I've found it helpful to document my mind for my mental health. 

I thought why don't I try just observing my consciousness now. And every time my mind formulates a problem I'll write it down and choose not to solve and when the solution appears which it invariably does I'll write that down too. 

Now this process helped me in terms of recovering my mental health. Will it help me find out what I am? I just don't know. But it's what keeps me here. I want to know if like observing my mind helped me get what I want if doing the same in respect of my consciouness will help too. 

Troy.

I found an energy within me. A powerful energy. A benevolent energy. I felt this energy was me. It was about wanting to help. A postive force. Love. 

  Let's go into this observation a bit. A thought comes to mind: what do you do?

I'll share with you now a few recent posts that have happened when I've been documenting my consciouness. 

  Positive force? Wanting to help? Many social workers are extremely eager to help.

  No need, thoughts normally come and go all the time.

  Look now.

well I notice my mind conceptualises a problem and then I choose not to solve. Well it's no longer a choice now as I know it's healthier not to. I just don't solve. 

Troy I really liked your comment about following a technique for over a decade is a practise. I'd concur absolutely with that. 

I know  free will does not exist, I know that experience is the observer and the observed in the present moment continually and I know that awareness is the universe observing itself , how does that all fit together?

That is the nature of reality. 

God I'm tired. Nikprit if you want I'll document my functioning map here but I'm not sure you'd be interested. As for the map about what we are it's in progress. 

The step I'll do now though. How I look I mean. 

I love that last line. 

  Yes, but do you do with a simple thought? You don't care, do you, you only care about what you deem to be a problem, right? Not every thought.

so our mind makes a problem. 

We can choose not to solve. Then our brain goes to a prior problem .

Decide unable to solve. Our brain goes to a subsquent problem. 

Don't do anything. Our brain goes to an unrelated problem. 

Solve stay on the problem. 

Anyway whatever you guys think seeing this pattern has helped me a lot. 

Now I always always choose not to solve and I stay mindful and relaxed.