try and make me cry

npc dialogue from a game i play:

Hey!
I'm the guy that never stops talking
All I do is say stuff
I'm not entirely sure why but I can't help it
There really is no point talking to me
I won't give you anything
I won't even say anything interesting
I just talk about random things
Like for example
The other day I met some kind of wizard
And they told me to come back in 3 to 5 business days
That was over a year ago
Still nothing
What kind of people do that?
Tells you to come back in a few days for no reason
Really makes you think
Also this guy, Crappox or something
Told me to kill enemy monsters for him
I asked him how much he'd pay me
He said I had to pay him instead
Makes no sense to me
I met a guy called Jerry too
Smart guy, he's going places
Met him a few times in fact, he's always around
Not the best for conversations but
At least he's a good listener
And I like that, good listeners
But you know what I don't like listening to?
People who play that harp
You know the one I'm talking about?
Always people playing it, but terrible music
Sometimes they even stop in the middle of the song
And they restart, just like that
Go figures
There's also this guy who's asking me to race him sometimes
He's acting like he's the best
But I always beat him first try
What's his problem?
At least he's an original
Most people always talk about coins around here
Everything has a value, and time is money
People don't take their time to enjoy the little things
Even you I'm sure
You really think I'm going to reward you with something
But I'm not, I swear
You can leave at any time and it won't affect anything
I just like to talk, I can go on for hours
Someone told me I was interesting once
Didn't believe them one bit
So many people lying and trying to be your friend
They all have a motive
Especially those mayor candidates
All they want is your vote
But do they really care about me?
Doubt [x]
It's always so black and white with them
Mining, fishing, they never mix
Why is that? What if I like mining and fishing?
But there is no point arguing
They are always right
And the people, sheep I say
They always vote for the same
It's always a landslide
Everyone wants to do like everyone else
Not me, I'm a free spirit
I'll tell you why
My home is clean and beautiful
Is your island beautiful?
A proper island is the key to success
Healthy island leads to healthy life
Also, remember those island we could place?
Like the sand one and forest one?
What happened to those, why not more?
So weird, it looked promising
Instead you have me
Sometimes I wonder
If I wasn't talking, what would people do instead
Am I a waste of time and space
Is that why I'm here, on this world
Maybe it's time I do something with my life
I could run for mayor
I wonder if people would vote for me
What would my program even be?
I would reward people for talking
But not those who talk about their auctions, yuck
I would reward people who explore and walk around
I would fill the village with friends with amazing stories to tell
But who would vote for me
Maybe instead I should stay there and keep talking
Talking is my favorite event
I like events but I prefer uneventful days
That way I can keep talking
I can't believe you are still listening
You are one of a kind
I have many more stories up my sleeve
Like that time I found a fairy soul
I went to Tia after because she asked me to
So I asked her, what are fairy souls?
And she said they are the remains of dead fairies
Isn't that terrible?! So many dead fairies everywhere!
She also said that all those fairies didn't die a peaceful death.
They were all killed! A long time ago.
But why would anyone do that? And who did it?
The strangest part is, Tia really didn't seem phased about it.
Just thinking about it I have a chill down my spine.
Those fairies are so strange.
But you know what else is strange?
Accessories, I mean what are those
I have an entire bag full of accessories
I'm basically a garage sale at this point
My favorite one is the cat one
I love cats
I want a cat pet but not the black one, bad memories
Cats are the best, they listen to me
I think they are learning, one day they will take control
But be my guest, a cat mayor is all I need
My second favorite activity is sleeping
But even in my sleep, I dream of talking
Sometimes I dream that I'm talking to myself
A whole table with 10 clones of me around it
All of us pretending to be more interesting than the others
But how could we? We are all the same
I guess my dreams are not very creative
I don't have a great imagination, that's why I never lie
I wonder though, do you think there will be another world like this one day?
Somewhere else, not exactly the same, but better in some way
Also it sounds crazy but, do you think we could exist without cubes?
Ender Pearls are my favorite items
Not because of what they do, but because they are circles
I wish the world was a circle too, it's so much prettier
I'd love to be in a circle world
Maybe there is a circle world somewhere, with someone just like me
In their circle world, dreaming of a cubic world
You really are a great listener
Now I regret saying I wouldn't reward you
But I swore, and I am a man of my words
But thank you for listening, I appreciate it a lot
I hope that you are happy and that everything is good in your life
There are ups and down sometimes but there is always a shinning light
My shinning light is you, a beam of hope in this dark cave
I'll tell you the story of my life
Once upon a time, on an island far away
I used to live in a small town, we had a house, 2 floors and an attic
Back then I was quite shy and reserved
I liked reading and listening to birds
There was always a cat around the house, sometimes killing the birds
I hated that cat with a passion, but my parents seemed to enjoy its presence
One day the cat gave birth to 3 little devils, and decided to hide them in our attic
They were making so much noise, right above my room
I never understood the reason we had to leave them be, I wanted them out
One day after sundown, a fire started spreading in our house
Quickly we understood it was too late to stop it, and exited the house with our valuables
I was asked if I knew whether or not the kittens were still inside the house
When asked that question, I remained silent, but I knew the answer
Soon after, the flames were engulfing the house
Suddenly the mom cat appeared from the shadows of the night and ran into the house
This creature usually so afraid of the fire, rushed into the infernal flames
About 20 seconds later, the cat passed the front door again, holding one of their cubs
And immediately after, dashed back inside the fire to save the rest of their litter
After the second trip, the cat was burning, but still went back in, right after making sure the cub was safe
I waited 30 seconds, my eyes fixed on the front door, holding my breath
Finally it came out with the last kitten
The cat was in terrible shape, but the kittens were safe
It looked one last time at them, and died next to the 3 little bodies
I was in shambles, never in my life had I been so wrong
Later on I buried the cat under my favorite tree, and adopted their cubs
I loved those 3 little devils with all my heart and gave them all the care in the world
They became beautiful and happy cats, their mom would have been proud
This event changed me to my very core, everything about me had to change
From that day I never hated anything anymore, and never stopped talking
But having said this story, I'll exceptionally need to take a break
I haven't told that story to many people
Thank you for listening to me