Assuming that is supposed to be humorous, I get it. I think I got five or six black sides in a row once.
Give me easy games
I have sent you an unrated Daily game.
I have been losing too many games lately, cause you ... suckers keep on giving me highly rated games and you keep on making me play black, I swear if you don't let me play white and keep on making me play highly rated games, I will find you and harass you
You can modify your seek settings.
https://support.chess.com/en/articles/8598433-how-do-i-choose-what-rating-my-opponents-are
As to color allocation. The player most due black gets black and over the long run, you'll get close to 50/50, though you can get strings of the same color.
I have been losing too many games lately, cause you damn suckers keep on giving me highly rated games and you keep on making me play black, I swear if you don't let me play white and keep on making me play highly rated games, I will find you and harass you