How to Respect a Smelly Opponent

What if your opponent (or someone next to you) has really bad breath or smells really bad? How do you respectfully keep yourself from getting grossed out, without constantly covering your nose or getting up?

it's weird how often this type of complaint comes up.

i havnt gone in THAT many tournaments but i've never been in this situation i hope its not because IM the smelly person :/

Shout at the top of your voice to the entire room (aimed at the smelly person) "GO AND HAVE A SHOWER". They will sure enough be embarrassed to go back to the room after their game and not show up again, ensuring your success.

On a related note: how do you stop someone (who has a slight mental disability) from making annoying noises such as tapping their nails together or breathing heavily?

The real answer to both our questions is: You can't. You have to put up with it. :/

     For your own health and safety; lose the game quickly, resign, and get the hell out of there!

Wear a shirt that says You-Reek-A!  (Eu-reek-a :-)

Put on a gas mask.  Or a surgical mask.

Bring some smelling salts.

Ward him away with a clove of garlic.

Smother yourself with perfume.

Look at a neighboring board :-)

Offer your opponent a breath mint (better than gum b/c people chew loudly or dispose of it badly)

  Just say, "I'll give you $5 bucks to lose this game, I'll give you $10 bucks to take a shower.

I think you all have just answered the age-old question: "Why don't women join more chess clubs?"

This is under the category of 'Strange but True' but the stinkiest opponent I played OTB was a female.  Sad part is; she was drop dead gorgeous.  Apparently personal hygiene was not her top priority.

Not strange. Is called self defence for gorgeous girls.

You don't.

Where I play chess, a lot of homeless guys congregate because it's outside by the beach. (And actually most of them don't smell bad, and I play chess with them if they ask me and don't seem crazy) About ten years ago, this 21 year old homeless guy, David, used to come there.  He was schizophrenic and looked and smelled like he had not taken a shower for years, and every time he saw me, he would come over to me and asked me to play.  And of course I would not because his smell was just so terrible.  Last time I saw him approaching me, I asked the guy whom I was playing with to tell him to go away.  When David shuffled over to me, I shut my eyes, covered my nose and mouth with my hands and kind of let out a shriek, and my opponent told him rather nastily to go away and that he stank.  David protested that he didn't stink but went away.  The next day, they found him dead in the public bathroom next to the chess park.  I felt very bad that I did that to a man who was about to die.  But it hasn't stopped me from refusing to play poeple who smell terrible. 

If they don't respect themselves enough for basic hygiene..., I wouldn't worry too much about them being offended because your visibly trying to deal with them being offensive.