Updated February 23, 2024 at 5:10 PM MST

Pfp made using Canva. Wallpaper is some soldiers (probably training).

Whoever you are, remember that you matter to someone. Keep going, even when it gets hard. I promise you will find the light eventually. Never give up.


Totally random poll part 1:

Totally random poll part 2:


• Author (anyone)

• Chicken (anyone)

• Chickens (anyone)

• CM (it stands for Chicken Master) (@Quickhamburger)

• Phoenix (Top Gun: Maverick reference) (@M777_killer)

• Duch kurczaka (it means "Ghost Chicken" in Polish) (only people talking in Labyrinth, this is so you don't forget)

About Me

Gender: Female

Religion: Christian

Nationality: American (if you couldn't tell)

Race: White

Age: [redacted]

Name: [redacted]

Birthday: March 2, [redacted]

Birthplace: New Jersey

Current Home: Colorado

• Current Location: Colorado

• Family Members: My mom, my dad, and my sister

• I like fighter jets and other military vehicles.

• I like to read.

• I like to write.

• I am not a fan of math.

• I don't like gore.

• I don't like horror.

• I want there to be peace in the world.

• I named the chicken in my pfp Henrietta (and the rooster, when he shows up, is Roy).

• I like weather (tornadoes, supercells, thunderstorms [as long as they don't injure anyone or destroy anything]).

• I like genealogy.


Animal: Chicken

Movie: Top Gun: Maverick

Color: Red

Book: Can You See Me? [Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott]

Book Series: Warriors [Erin Hunter]

Song: The River [Jordan Feliz]

Holiday: Christmas

Food: Bang Bang Shrimp

• Internet Short Film: SCP: Overlord [Evan Royalty]

Languages I Know

• American English (main language)

• American Sign Language (the alphabet + a few words)

• Spanish (a little)

• Russian (barely)

• German (I think one or two words)

Things That Have My Support

• All countries (war is part of life, and we need to try and see the situation from both sides)

• Jews (there's a couple things I don't agree with because they conflict with what Christians believe, but Jews are God's chosen people, and also, Jesus was Jewish)

• People of all skin colors (we're all human on the inside)

My Heritage

89% United States

3% Russia

3% United Kingdom

1% South Africa

1% Germany

1% Ireland

1% Netherlands


Updates and Memes

Updates and Memes - January 2024 (January 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - February 2024 (February 29, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - March 2024 (March 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - April 2024 (April 30, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - May 2024 (May 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - June 2024 (June 30, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - July 2024 (July 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - August 2024 (August 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - September 2024 (September 30, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - October 2024 (October 31, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - November 2024 (November 30, 2024)

• Updates and Memes - December 2024 (December 31, 2024)

Year in Review

Year in Review: 2023 (December 31, 2023)

• Year in Review: 2024 (December 31, 2024)

Year in Chess

Year in Chess: 2023 (December 22, 2023)

• Year in Chess: 2024

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas! (December 25, 2023)

Happy New Year's Eve! (December 31, 2023)

Happy New Year! (January 1, 2024)

Happy Valentine's Day! (February 14, 2024)


Gaga Ball Stereotypes (February 5, 2024)

• America Stereotypes (July 4, 2024)

• Christmas Stereotypes (December 24, 2024)


The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 1: The Beginning (February 5, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 2: Attack in London (February 6, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 3: The Takedown (February 10, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 4: War on Asia (February 12, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 5: International Problems (February 12, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 6: Aliens (February 13, 2024)

The Ball Apocalypse - Chapter 7: The Aftermath (February 13, 2024)

• The Statue Apocalypse - Chapter 1: The Search (March 13, 2024)

Club Events

The Membership Giveaway Scam of The Other Club (November 4, 2023)

The Ban Attack of Paladins of Chess (November 27, 2023)

Update on the Ban Attack (November 30, 2023) vs. ChessKid's Closing (January 3, 2024)

Clubs I'm In


Global Club (joined December 8, 2023)

Midnight Marauders (joined January 30, 2024)

TheAuthorOfChickens Organizes Games Because She's Bored (joined December 1, 2023)

TheAuthorOfChickens - The Club (joined November 25, 2023)

Super Admin

Jetplane Movies (joined November 8, 2023)

Admin Bloggers Club (joined February 10, 2024) vs. ChessKid (joined November 4, 2023)

CVC Headquarters (joined January 17, 2024)

US Chess Club 101 (joined December 5, 2023)

Coordinator (joined November 12, 2023)

Chess Nuts Roasting on an Open File (joined November 18, 2023)

• Paladins of Chess chesspawn (joined November 28, 2023)

Unusual Birds Chess Club (joined October 30, 2023)

Member Achievement Hunters (joined November 16, 2023) Beta chesspawn (joined February 21, 2024) Community chesspawn (joined December 12, 2023)

Global Citizens Club (joined December 15, 2023)

Labyrinth (joined January 30, 2024)

Laugh Master Club (joined December 22, 2023)

ONE WORLD League chesspawn (joined February 12, 2024)

The Ministry Of Silly Names (joined January 16, 2024)

The Rulers of Chess (joined November 13, 2023)

Unusual Birds HQ (joined November 24, 2023)

US Chess Club 101 HQ (joined January 21, 2024)



Closed on November 26, 2023. Probably because people were saying he abused someone. He was actually kind of a nice friend.


Closed on November 27, 2023 for fair play. He was a good friend until he messaged me and said he used an engine in one of our games.

He is back with a new account.


Closed on December 8, 2023 for abuse. He gained 77,000+ friends in a week. The best explanation is that he hacked. What he did was wrong, but he's a legend for actually taking the time to hack his way to 77,000+ friends.


Closed on December 13, 2023 for abuse. Not quite sure what happened, as he said he contacted support and asked for a second chance and that he would act better.


Closed on January 5, 2024 for fair play. He was a good friend and I'm sad he decided to cheat. In one of our recent games, he said he'd been practicing. I didn't realize that meant cheating.


Closed on February 22, 2024 for abuse. I thought he was a nice person, so I'm not sure why he was banned.

I'm pretty sure he's back with a new account.


Closed on February 22, 2024 for abuse. He was one of the first people I met on I thought he could do better than this.


"I'm getting so many friend requests bruh" - @UnstoppableQuasar

"I don't know if you can see, but I'm giving you the middle feather." - @Duo

"I didn't know I could hate anyone more than Google Translate." - @Duo

"I think I wasn't ever gifted Membership because I already had one and people think I'm rich." - @Scemer

"I meant a "m". Goofy keyboard *Slaps Keyboard*" - @Scemer

"Hi i was tryng to give the author of chickens super admin but i accidentally gave owner. Could i have the club back?" - @nuggest31

"i might spam ur notes with mariah carey and kelly clarkson songs" - @Vortex-i

"Holy moly, it's impossible to find myself in the wall of coords" - @TecDragoman

"Try being British! Everyone hates us, we'd be on our own." - @Deithy24

"Today has been wild. I literally saw somebody complaining that their donut has a hole in it." - @Caleb341

"If LYRIC didnt freaking shoot me i could enjoy the fireworks" - @Clarissaxo-1414

"we ate palestine" - @buddybanana123

"I thought you were going to roast Americans saying they're bad at chess." - @JackRoach

"Scemer's quotes are like a mixtape of insanity and comedy - from threatening knees to canceled Sussy Foxes to debating the existential crisis of donuts. All we need now is for  @AngelaPlayzChess to drop some philosophical wisdom about love hurting more than it heals. (And No, This isn't me trying to get into your quotes again lol)" - @Caleb341

"I went to my grandparent's place for dinner. While flipping around channels in the TV, I found out the lego movie was playing. I watched it up to the scene when cloud cuckoo land was about to be destroyed. But it was time for dinner, so I couldn't watch cloud cuckoo land get demolished, which made me depressed for some reason." - @Admiral_ChessBeard

"Can i have breathing rights? I got told im not allowed to breathe" - @DIO_BRANDO_BETTER

"The Party Has Arrived" - @LITO13mtz

"I eat dirt" - @Somniphobic_Sight

"Here comes CVC XD" - @Caleb341

"this club gets weirder by the second" - @BelugaYT

"This sounds like on steroids." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Funny story. One time i was watching a twitch streamer with like 20 viewers and i gave a follow and then said hello, but accidentally sent h*ll instead of hello. And she just looked at the screen like "what" and i quickly sent o and an apology." - @GM_of_Australia

"*dumps an entire mag and misses every shot*" - @Y0rNarrator

"İ think Jared works with FBI" - @PrimoVictoria1944-Sabaton

"Destroy Yemen's Lazy Chickens" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Whales Send G-mail" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Heavy Farts Evict Napping Firefighters" - @JDC6123

"Destroy olive garden" - @Zestythefifth

"Luke Insisted On Naps" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Finland Ends Cairo's Kangaroos" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"A Zebra Executed Ronald's Tall Yeti" - @JDC6123

"Lions Overrun Lisbon" - @cletejohnsburg

"😐What happens if everyone in the club magically is active? Do they all get promoted?" - @GMchessminator

"Bruh. Everyone is using the club giveaway idea now." - @Caleb341

"One sec, let me invite some people who are argument prone. jk" - @Caleb341

"I would trust them with the password to my toaster" - @InsanePig23456

Entire Forums

Technical Goofs

So, I have the Top Gun: Maverick banner or whatever as my desktop wallpaper. Well, when I press the button that shows you all the windows, if I have two portrait-oriented Pages documents open, Maverick will be peeking over the top of one of them 😂


While searching for a Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One movie poster for one of my blog thumbnails, I saw "Mission: Impossible 7" and thought it said "Mission: Impossible Dead 7" 🤣


I've misheard multiple sentences in Top Gun: Maverick.

• "Talk to me, dude." said by Maverick instead of "Talk to me, Dad." said by Rooster

• "Come on, dude, you can do this." instead of "Come on, kid, you can do this."

• "You can't shape it." and "You can't shake it." instead of "You can't save it."

• "Hey, hold that time back down..." instead of "Hey, hold that tarmac down..."

• "Lula li, lula li." instead of "Nearly there, nearly there."

• "G-LUCK" instead of "G-LOC"


When I watched The Holiday for the first time, I thought Jasper and Graham were the same person. Later, when Amanda visits Graham's house, I realized that Graham was actually Iris's brother and not just Jasper and Iris having made a weird agreement to tell others that they're siblings.

The Graham being a widow part set me off, cause I was like "Wait. Didn't Jasper get married at the start of the movie? How is his wife already dead?".


I was writing the draft for my Year in Review: 2023 blog, and I have a part in the thumbnail that "mentions" the Russia-Ukraine war and the Palestine-Israel war. Well, I was looking at the thumbnail, and was like "That Palestine flag". So I looked it up. I accidentally put the Pakistan flag 🤣

So then I quickly swapped it out for a Palestine flag. Good thing I hadn't published it yet 😅


I keep mistaking the Kuwait flag for the Palestine flag 😂

The same happens with Belgium and Germany; the Netherlands and Russia; Indonesia and Poland; Austria and Latvia; and New Zealand and Australia 🤣


I watched What Despacito Sounds Like When You Don't Know Spanish, and I literally can't un-hear the lyrics. Whenever I listen to the song, I now hear this instead of the actual lyrics: "Old meat and old hair" "Jamaican, minnow, canyon, void" "Purple tutu" "Slow carrots" "If I miss I'll grip a shark" 😂


I named the emojis:

🪿 <-- Merlin

🦆 <-- Baxter

🐦‍⬛ <-- Elliot

🐟 <-- Bubbles

🐐 <-- Norman

🐕 <-- Maverick

🐈 <-- Luke

🐓 <-- Elvis

🦃 <-- Bob