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Tactic Strainer 5



This is part five of Tactic Strainer,
 which looks
the minds of some
wonderful strainers straining


What prompted this bloggy thingy is described in part one:

and continues in part two:

and part three:

and part four:

[I hope you are keeping up with all this, Scotty and Co.]


The right leading begins here:

The I Talk to the Trees department

Self-appraisal [10-17-09]
A:  Am I doing good?
A:  You are doing good, too.

A wined-up [10-17-09]
A:  I am sorry, but wouldn't h4 also be mate?
A:  Sorry, too much wine - of course the king would take it.

I don't know  [10-18-09]
A:  I thought about Nb6, but played b5. Besides, the c-pawn wasn't guarded...
A:  I don't know, what I was thinking?!

I think, therefore, I think; I think  [10-22-09]
What am I doing? Thinking to much...

Meaningless occurrences  [10-24-09]
A:  Ra4 is meaningless, since White's NEXT move will be Rxe8+ and mate is still forced... am I missing something?
A:  Ha! As soon as I wrote this, it occurred to me... Kh7! puts the Bishop at risk.


The Modesty Section

A freeby [10-17-09]
Ha! Took me a second to figure this one out once I realized there was no logical place for the queen to go and there was free material.

Seems expensive [10-22-09]
What's hard in it? My usual rate is 1800.
[Dollars or Pounds?]


The Cryptic comments category

I luv windmills. [10-23-09]

Sweet beans in a basket!  [10-23-09]


The Context Category

When quoting others, remember to 'set the scene', otherwise readers may get the right impression!

That's one hell of a mate! [10-18-09]

Quite hard... But beautiful! [10-19-09]

Wow, my first 100%! [10-19-09]


The Easy Evolution

Pretty straightforward. [10-18-09]

2 easy. [10-24-09]


Do they still teach math(s) at school? [10-17-09]
I didn't go for the pawn, over focused on the "MUST UNPIN KNIGHT" aspect of the puzzle. 2/3, half marks.

Doubting Thomas [10-17-09]
I think the solution is wrong, but what do I know?

There's always one [10-17-09]
A:  OMG, I'm so dumb.
B:  Me, too!
C:  It's the pressure to move quickly that causes everyone to miss this.
D:  What a nonsense of a puzzle.

One way of putting it [10-17-09]
Basically, yeah. Plus 3. Kh2...Bxh3 4. Qd3...Rxf2 and white is screwed.

While the cat's away... [10-17-09]
A:  Rb7 by accident... stupid mouse!
B:  Me too! I moved queen one stupid square. Damn mouse!

This warmed the cockles of old Blobby's heart [10-17-09]
From now on, can you guys remind others not to write RUDE messages (e.g. 'easy').

There's a lot of forking about [10-17-09]
A:  Dang I forked the queen and rook.
B:  LOL. Same... forked queen and rook.
C:  Me fork too.
D:  I also went for the fork.
[What ever happened to Spoonerisms?] 

My guess is as good as... er... my guess [10-17-09]
How do you decide between taking with the queen or the bishop on move three? I took a guess and guessed wrong.
[That would be Blobby's best guess, any road up]

And so you should be [10-18-09]
Hmm... 19 seconds for me to realize I could take the knight, 1 second for execution.

Bloody puzzles [10-18-09]
This puzzle angrys up the blood.

Dunce? Who? [10-18-09]
If Tactic Trainer was a chess teacher - the corner I go has a dunce!

The King is in His Castle... [10-19-09]
A:  He cannot castle when b1 is threatened.
He can; the king never moves through check.
C:  Who is right here: can you or can you not castle?
I also used to think castling could not be done if any of the relevant squares were covered, but it is only the King that cannot move through check, the rook can. [Check a Rook?!]
The rules do state that you are allowed to move only your rook through check. [Check a Rook?!]
I think castling is an illegal move, here!
I can promise you, castling is not an illegal move ... The rook can travel through attacked squares.[That's better]
So, is it legal to castle whilst the rook is threatened?
Castling is absolutely LEGAL. The King can not pass through check, but the Rook most certainly can.[Again?!]
"It's legal to move the rook through check"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS STATEMENT PEOPLE? The Rook Cannot Be Put Into Check. It Is A Rook. It Is Not A King. Only The King Can Be Put In Check. Dur! [Finally]
K:  =) Indeed, you're right, they should write: 'It's legal to move the rook while it is attacked.' [Confirmed]

Ignorance is bliss [10-19-09]
... Just looked at source game (I didn't know you could do that). Please ignore me.

Little Jack Horner... [10-19-09]
I got it right, but almost missed it just because that queen is hidden in the corner. [On h3?! Hidden?!]

I'm going to kill myself, even if it takes a lifetime [10-19-09]
A:  Damn... I screwed up in the last move... Frown
B:  So did I. I feel really intelligent now. Embarassed
C:  No, I lost. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo. God, I hate losing. I all ways loooossssse. [All ways?!] I'm going down, oh, no, for that tiny little mistake. I hate you! Yell
D:  So did I!
E:  I feel so stupid.
F:  Sweet. Tons of people have tried this one and missed. Somehow, I lucked out and got it. [There's always one, isn't there?]
G:  Ha! I got it easily and it was by calculation. [In this case, two]

Part two [10-19-09]
Damn! I almost got it; I hurried on the last move, I am such a sissy.

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you! [10-19-09]
A:  Wow! I wonder how I missed that?
B:  a. by making a bad move selection?
b. by failing to look at the board?
c. mouse slip?
d. your dog bumped the table and your beer spilled into the keyboard ?
e. your girlfriend called?
f. other?
A:  I didn't mean it literally and I'm 10!
[From the mouth of babes...]

That's a mere detail  [10-22-09]
A:  I think rook to D5 works on the 2nd move as well, as an alternate. [alternative?]
B:  It would do if it weren't illegal - Black is in check. :)

They took me to the gleaners [10-19-09]
I'm starting to glean that impatience is not a virtue that's often rewarded here. Laughing

Everything butt [10-19-09]
That felt good. These scenarios have been kicking my butt lately, but I made my way through this one and that felt good. Laughing

Cor Blimey (God Blind me) [10-19-09]
A:  Why is Nd3 better than Nf3?
B:  'A', if you use those wonderful gifts God gave you, your eyes, you could see that you are going to win a rook next turn? I'd say winning a rook instead of nothing is pretty good...
A:  I sit corrected, once again, 'B'!
(Mutters under breath: If God were perfect he would have given me perfect eyes, ergo, God doesn't like me; he likes Mr. 'B' and gave him the last remaining set. Woe is me... woe is me...)

Here's a new one [10-19-09]
Ouch. For some reason, I thought the white pawns were guarding e4. Backwards board vision...

Sarcasm = cram ass (anag) [10-19-09]
Very insightful, thank you TT.

Some like a tipple, others like a topple [10-19-09]
This is a fun little problem. I wish some of these would follow through to the checkmate or actual material gain though... it is satisfying to topple pieces.

This should be clear to everyone [10-22-09]
It's checkmate forn
[?] the king even if the queen is captured because if the queen does get captured then the queen is blocking the king's escape.

[Keep smoking the medicine, but don't get your escape blocked]
Part two
So much for White saving their King in the top left corner. White should have placed the White bishop right in front of the Black Queen and their White Queen facing the vulnerable Black Bishop protecting their King from the domineering White Queen's checkmate. The Black Queen wouldn't have gotten the White Bishop without getting captured by the White Queen and the Black Bishop couldn't have gotten the White Bishop since the Black King has to be covered from the White Queen. [What ever this strainer is smoking, I want some!]

Stupid, stupider and stupidest [10-22-09]
Well that sure makes White feel rather stupid doesn't it? However, what's even more stupid is actually expecting any opponent to be that stupid!

If you have any questions to burn... [10-22-09]
Now the burning questions are how to take down the rooks, queen, bishop and pawn gauntlet?
[...just throw down your gauntlet]

I hate you and I hate me  [10-22-09]
I hate it when people say this, but it seems weird that this one is rated so high.

McDonald's was never this good  [10-22-09]
It's a triple-decker checkmate for the king. The king's bacon is cooked!
[And the bacon was never really cooked]
And from the same strainer
WOW! At first I thought what a moronic way to lose a queen however there's no way out for the king because it's checkmate by the two noble knights. The bishop messed up big time.

Er... [10-22-09]
I did not see the Knight, but it was obvious, too.

Where's the door?  [10-22-09]
Argh! Am I really that blind?!

Blobby wanted to say that! [10-22-09]
A:  I love simple and common things like this; this is the cheese I pull off on my buddies.
B:  Maybe your buddies should bathe more.

Tower attacked by Stallion! Read all about it! [10-23-09]
The strategy here is that you must use the stallion to attack the tower. Once you complete the attack... the tower will be disappeared. Cheers.

Very Lee, I say unto you [10-23-09]
Very, very, very,very, very BAD!

A happy strainer [10-23-09]
I got the toughest part of the problem right, and then missed the easy third move. Life's fun...

The 'Spammer' returns  [10-23-09]
You, our one and only royal leader may remember our spammer and his perpetual 'point'. Well, another has taken up the pen and here it is in all its glory:

Poetic  [10-23-09]
A:  White is winning prosaically...
B:  Black still has their Queen which happens to be right near the gullible White king.

That's the problem with problems  [10-23-09]
Sometimes the puzzle is a lot simpler than it looks at first; as in, 'duh'!

Henry VIII rules!  [10-23-09]
A:   One dead queen, coming up!
B:  Yeah, one dead queen.
C:  Sweet beans in a basket! One dead queen!

This is not sour grapes, OK!   [10-24-09]
 Score: 0%. I should know by now that the Queen must die always to win these puzzles.

Aw, shucks! Let's do her anyway!   [10-24-09]
 I was worried that the queen capture was a decoy to the real solution. I spent half my time and then decided to take her anyways. Laughing

When is a check not a check? [10-24-09]
You could also put the King into further check by moving the White pawn to stand diagonally in front of the Black King. Black can't get the White pawn in that situation because of the White bishop.

Agent Provocateur [10-24-09]
Teasing you with the rook snack.

I am not a complete idiot!  [10-25-09]
LOL, my bad, Mr. Mod. I figured there had to be something wrong with my analysis. Completely missed that (but I did get the problem right the first time I did it, so I don't feel like a complete idiot. :)

Editors note [10-19-09]

Our royal leader may think that all comments are vacuous, empty even, and nothing is to learned from Tactics Trainer. On the contrary! Here is an example from one strainer:

I do feel that asking stupid questions here is more rewarding than for example copying the position to the chess engine (I do that sometimes).  Lest face it, chess is quite lonely game and even this short opportunity to communicate about a problem feels great (at least to some of us). My suggestion is to delete all the lines in the analysis! ;)

Second reason against the analysis board is that reading it feels like WORK. I believe many of us come here to have fun (I do).

Third reason, I feel analysis board should not to be given too much emphasis, because reading it fluently takes a lot of practice and skill. Yes I can do it, but slowly, and even then it won’t answer the basic questions we not so good players want the answer for. Here the basic means: obvious moves. I’m 1800+ chess tactics players so my guess is that there are more us than those who are fluent on it.

So please lots of lines to chess tactics talk.

I need further add that the most important thing I feel “Tactics Trainer” to have over the “Chess Tempo” is the interaction with the users. There you are alone, here together.

























  • 12 months ago


    Thank you Hol y Hol comb!

    When I saw your photo, well, it just made me want to reach


    out and thank you. :)

  • 12 months ago


    Do I get a prize for reading through all of the blogs? Reading Joe Blobs Blogs are like reading the tactics strainers analysis board. Sure I got a laugh but was it really worth all the work? Ha, ha, ha. Just kidding Mr. Joe_Blob. Keep up the good work. Signed, Mr. Anonomous.

  • 3 years ago


    Right, Alex and Co., you asked for it. I'll dig up Blobby from the garden of his bottom and start again in January.

    Note to all, if you see anything worth quipping, let me have the URL (Scotty and Co., that's the addressy thingy in the address bar. Doh! The white quadrangle at the top of the browser. Doh!!! What you are using to read this rubbish. I give up).

  • 3 years ago


    A joy to reed and a must to me mo rise. Please do it a gain.

  • 3 years ago


    Well, ThankYou4Playing, write something pithy and if 2011 turns out to be less tiring than 2010, I'll restart the Tactic Strainer series. What do you think?

  • 4 years ago


    I enjoy your stuff.  Hope to be quoted someday. Foot in mouth

  • 4 years ago


    what is this?

  • 5 years ago


    L+LOL! Great stuff! Really funny!

    Why is stupid funny?

  • 5 years ago


    Well, that's just excellent.  :)

  • 5 years ago


    Always good stuff!

  • 5 years ago


    On the ball again LOLWink

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