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A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of lambs. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with lambs in this town! Take them to the petting zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of lambs, and they're all wearing sun glasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands..."I thought I told you to take these lambs to the petting zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies..."I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
I thought it was penguins, not lambs.
You stole that joke from me! I posted it before, haha. And you butchered it! And it was ONE penguin.
Did it have a pickup? I've heard that is the most important part.
There is an old advert campaign in UK for Penguin chocolate biscuits where the slogan was "P...p...p...pick up a penguin." Odd.
In this case, I should be cured of all diseases
Laughing at men saying women are just as good at chess
I'm happy that you all are enjoying.
I see so: A police officer sees Jim Carrey driving around with a pickup truck full of lambs. Ok?
The Scoutmaster and his Tenderfoot son went on a camping trip.
As they lay down for the night, the Tenderfoot said, 'Dad, look up into the sky and tell me what you see'.
His Scoutmaster father responded, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Tenderfoot Son: "And what does that tell you?"
Scoutmaster Dad: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, son?"
Tenderfoot Son: "It tells me you forgot to pack the tent again".
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street.
Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly."
She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night.
The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.
Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka.
She gets the glass but asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass?"
Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle."
Well well well Every 100 years, the entire world is united against Russian. In order to get punished. And calm down and for another 100 years
While I was shaving in the bathroom, my wife is something asked herself. Hereafter she answered herself. Hereafter she did scandal herself . So I came out of the bathroom divorced
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