How to make a real chess club succeed?

Running a club is hard work :)

Like a summer camp or something?

Well, I attend a table tennis club and structure works like this:

Members pay a monthly fee - $10

Non-Members who come to play on the night pay $2 a night

Mini-Tournaments can be held with a $10 singles and $10 doubles prize with a $2 entrance fee - the club has a regular attendance of around 10 to 15 people.

Large sanctioned tournaments are held 4-6 times a year, with a $25 to $40 entrance fee and $250 prize money. People from other clubs attend these tournaments too so we have about 20-35 people on average.

I agree with my fellow South African (rooperi) that you should have a leadership structure within your club -  at the very least have a President, Vice-President, and Treasurer.

lol summer camp is good. it's some other camps they should worry about.

I think you should entertain the possiblity that you are not the best person suited for being the president then.  Getting the ball rolling isn't that hard.   Asking "What should we do about fundraising?" will get the ball rolling...

Meet regularly, not every third new moon except on Thursdays (fizzbin rules). 

Find a venue with good lighting, low noise levels and plenty of space. Clean, unlocked working bathrooms complete with soap, paper towels and toilet paper are mandatory. Chess clubs/tournaments are not very pleasant if you have to "hold it" all night.

Find local sponsor(s) to subsidize the club, and keep membership fees low.

Hold regular tournaments with no or really cheap entry fees (another reason to have sponsors).  Make sure there are tournaments for a variety of time controls. Not everybody likes or wants to risk rating points, spend gas and entry fees on a G/5 or G/15 event all the time. There should be slower tc's too.

Return 100% of tournament entry fees as prize fund, in addition to seed money from sponsor(s) and club coffers. 

Sell merchandise at fair prices.

Challenge clubs from nearby neighborhoods to matches and/or collaborate on tournaments to increase player variety and opportunites for networking.

Do outreach to local schools to increase awareness and increase participation at the scholastic level. 

PAY NO SALARIES! Committed volunteers only to serve as club officers, and it's helpful if they are chess players with some business acumen (Unlike the USCF officers who seem to be neither).

Do all these things, and you'll be well on your way.

Texas has had a big boom in chess ever since University of Texas at Dallas started doing really well in tournaments. They might know some guys you could get in touch with.

One word... Alcohol.

Mnnn... not good. 

Selling chocolate requires buying chocolate and a lot of time in trying to sell it.  All that time should be spent on better things... such as promoting your club.

Membership and meeting fees is the way to go.  The only legwork should be trying to get more members, not selling chocolate or blowing money and time on having a BBQ. 

I guess it depends on whether you want to be a chess club committee member or a chocolate salesperson.

Well yes you'll need a USCF tournament director or two, if it is your intent to hold rated USCF tournaments.

If you don't have a certified TD now, consider borrowing one from a neighboring chess club.

Well the coaches might have advice or know people that play chess in the area that could help out.

What does selling cookies have in common with the girl scouts?

NOTHING! The kids aren't making these cookies!

But cookie sales are a huge fund raiser for them every year.

Because if you say no then you're a big meanie pants and you hate children.

Then all the other people will aww in unison and for some reason you'll find yourself compelled to by cookies. Then you will eat them and like them so much that you want more. You will be hooked and next year it will happen again!!

Well you could so selling if you had lots of time or lots of little legs to go peddling buscuits door to door. 

Tournaments (paid entry with prizemoney) is a good way to go IF you have the facilities and equipment to do it, and the avenues to publicise the event.

Some places have a government that is often willing to help out too.

But just to get started, you can't look past the fundamentals of member fees.

well...some of those cookies are pretty good. I remember one year my family sold 7,500 boxes.

Be careful with fees, don't follow the USCF model.

If you must charge membership and entry fees to tournaments keep them CHEAP. People are turned off by high fees, especially if they don't feel they are getting a fair return (example=USCF) for their money.