Stuff Non-Chess Players Say

ikr. i don't always like memes...but when i do, I make sure they're not ripoffs.

This conversation happened on the day when  I came to know that our IT Manager plays chess...she gave me few beginner tiny lesson (July 2012)

Hummm..

I dont need chess. I am already smart...

OK. If I am white and you are black. It means that I can only move on white and you on black squares...

So, it means that if something comes in the way of your rook it automatically gets killed..

Look, if you insist on calling it a Knight there must be some thing riding on it. 

How can some one move..every piece is after every piece..

Todays lecture was good. But promise you will tell me the moves of chess tomorrow as well. I need repetition to remember...

What is the main objective?

Checkmate the other guys King..

Then why are there so many irrelevent pieces on the board..  

lol good one :3

Yeah true 

A non-chesser's good advise.

The non-comical side of this is "stuff non-chess-playing parents tell their chess-playing kids"

(Looking at Fritz) "But Nc5 was clearly a blunder, it says here that Nxd6 was clearly winning"

"Why do you make mistakes every game?!"

sacrifice everything to get your king checkmated. wait...its the other person's king that you want to get checkmated? ohhh...that makes more sense.

This game is great why don't more people know about it?

Very nice title :)

And somewhere way earlier I threw in a few funny things my mom, who doesn't play chess, has said to me. lol. 

Today--

Opponent: *drops like 3 pieces in a row, no change in facial expression*

Me: ?

Opponent: I want all the pieces off the board.

Me: Yeah, but not your pieces, right?

Opponent: I just want all the pieces off the board.

Me: *continues playing like what he just said was normal*  

With my friend.

1. h3 e5

2. g4 Nc6

3. f3 Qh4#

Answer : "I thought the king was the other piece!"

Sounds more like an EXCUSE!!! lol! (;

lol yup looks about right

lolz! (hooray I replied to your comment twice. what's wrong with me!)

this is not actually mate 

I presume you meant 2. g4 

My friends just always ask "who's winning?" while I'm playing. It gets really annoying

Yes!

1. h3 e5

2. h4 Nc6

3. f3 Qh4#

is definitely something a non-chess player would say.

I can imagine ._.

yes it's g4