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April Fools!!! Rensch & Pruess Fired from Chess.com

  • erik
  • on 4/1/12, 8:18 PM.

We hope everyone had fun with this article! It was our intention to go "over the top" in such a way that no one would really believe it... but for all those who did, please put down the pitch forks and get back to solving Knight Forks Wink

- Danny -- Still your Co-Director of Content and Professional Relations...

It is with a great sigh of relief that I inform the Chess.com Community of something I have been trying to "take care of" for some time. Today I informed our Co-Director's of Content and Professional Relations that their services would no longer be needed on Chess.com and our scholastic extension site just for kids, ChessKid.com. Their sad expressions did not deter me from making this easy decision...

I am sure this news comes greatly welcomed by the rest of you, tired of David constantly skipping his responsibilities for Political Activist movements and Pool Parties, and it goes without saying that Rensch's act was getting old. Danny's ridiculous, obnoxious behaviour in every video lecture and Chess/TV Show has been the cause of never ending headaches for my support team.

Mr. Pruess has "played in the pool" for the last time on Chess.com's dime...

"Finally, I can spend my afternoons drinking tea and eating crumpets like I was meant to, instead of wasting hours putting out "Rensch fires" all over the site -- insulting and upsetting members left and right", said Kohai -- Head of Tickets and Support.

"Finally, no more 'checkalinalaschlamba's or exclamaviatchs' to drive me crazy and keep me up at night", commented Jay - Senior Developer and Co-Founder of Chess.com.

I must say, I rather enjoyed my Sunday after taking care of this important item on my To-Do List. Why did it take me so long you wonder? Well, in their "well negotiated contracts" (darn David's good lawyer) it was clearly stated I needed do cause. Despite a clear lack of productivity or beneficial contributions, my legal team informed me that I needed more...

Little did Danny and David know how closely I've been watching them...

It took some brainstorming, but I finally cooked up a plan to "tempt" the Content Directors into revealing their true character: I proposed the ridiculous idea of hosting "Blitz Death Matches" for cash, and suggested that David and Danny play the first match (and yes, you can all thank me for cancelling any and all future Death Matches now that I have achieved the true purpose behind them). I knew the cash would be too much for them to resist:

Not surprisngly, Danny was the first to act while David "played nice"..
But soon after I left the room, David joined in the celebration...

And my hidden camera captured all the proof I (or should I say we) needed! They tried to steal all the money that was only meant for show!! Chess.com became a better place today, and, well, you're welcome! I will begin my quest to find some "real help" to replace these jokers very soon. You'll all be glad to know that I played with their emotions when I delivered the news, even suggesting they could battle it out in a "Thumb War" to decide who stays:

Of course I fired them both immediately after they finished...

I respectfully ask for the entire Chess.com Community to accept my apologies that it took so long to "wash my hands" of the mess I made by hiring these two, and I hope our future will be one where respectful, responsible Director's of Content and Professional Relations manage our great web site.

Sincerely,

Erik - Co-Founder of Chess.com

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Comments


  • 15 months ago

    netzach

    Or funnier? (Depending on blackness of one's humour).

  • 15 months ago

    Polar_Bear

    It seems a lot less funny today...

  • 18 months ago

    tim_supermonkey

    LaughingTongue OutLaughingTongue OutLaughing

  • 22 months ago

    Mr_Spocky

    lol

  • 23 months ago

    IDASP

    I can't stop laughing!

  • 2 years ago

    shengyi

    Good April Fools from Chess.com.

  • 3 years ago

    sittingpawn

    Shequan is somewhat accurate, but there was more to it than that, as you progress the pressure of staying true to yourself is of course just as difficult as the pressure to win. Josh was getting conflicting advice and having conflicting feelings, he hasn't left chess altogether as he still teaches it, but he did leave it competitively and then later found martial arts, which was never his intention to do that competitively either but such is life. He is a very interesting person who is a wonderful writer and speaker. It would be nice to see him come back to earn that title though, as it was something he worked so hard and so long for, but if he is comfortable walking away never achieving that, then most power to him.

  • 3 years ago

    shequan

    there's some fishy business about the origins of this april fools prank. we know danny wrote it. but was it danny's idea? or did someone else put him up to it? 

  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    Hate to say it, but I think that's just an excuse.

  • 3 years ago

    shequan

    waitzkin would have been a GM if they didn't make that freaking movie about him lol. I think it kind of made chess a little too weird for him and he had to find something else to do. I completely understand why he moved to martial arts, I probably would have done the same. just too weird. he should come back now, no one really remembers the movie anymore, the weirdness factor that it created probably has dissipated considerably. 

  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    But why?

  • 3 years ago

    netzach

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    I guess that means our hero Josh Waitzkin got real close before he quit.

  • 3 years ago

    netzach

    Current regulations

    The requirements for becoming a Grandmaster are somewhat complex. A player must have attained an Elo rating of at least 2500 (although they need not maintain this level to obtain or keep the title). In addition, at least two favorable results (called norms) from a total of at least 27 games in tournaments involving other Grandmasters, including some from countries other than the applicant's, are usually required before FIDE will confer the title on a player. There are other milestones a player can achieve to get the title, such as winning the Women's World Championship, the World Junior Championship, or the World Senior Championship. Current regulations can be found in the FIDE Handbook.[13]

  • 3 years ago

    cornerstone7

    whew

  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    Seriously, I expected at least one of those two to have it by now.

  • 3 years ago

    netzach

    Want to call yourself GM here CP nothing to stop you. But wont get highlighted-posts unless you can prove it... :)))

  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    Darn! I was just about to ask for one. :)

  • 3 years ago

    netzach

    Well CP. They are only earned by chess-play, results & performance you cannot just get one becauase you want it :)

  • 3 years ago

    Conflagration_Planet

    The one who got his three norms. Not erik of course.

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