Jurassic World: Rebirth Movie Review

"How can you be scared of something you know isn't real?"

You could say that about a lot of things.

I’ve never seen a horror movie before. I don’t get why some people like being scared while watching a movie. Watching a movie is supposed to be relaxing and fun... I don't want to be stressed... on purpose... while trying to relax and have fun... do ya dig? Well, the reason I bring this up is because almost every single review on the planet for Jurassic World: Rebirth said it was so scary, and it could be counted as a literal horror movie.

I was ready for that.

...but then it turned out to be just as scary as every other Jurassic movie in existence. 🤣🤣🤣 (Everything was just... typical Jurassic Park action to me; if you've seen the og, this one is a walk in the park 🤷)

But anyways, I honestly thought this movie was really good, don't know why it got so much hate. A couple things, though: the ending was... VERY abrupt, the trailer was very misleading, and everything was way too predictable.

...but before we go any further in, you know what I gotta say...

Welcome to the Jurassic World: Rebirth movie review. 🙃

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
INTRODUCTION | NOTES | CONCLUSION | CREDITS

Ok, so... first, let's talk about that ending. Not everything was solved, I felt: Delores? Are they just gonna have a pet dinosaur now? (Also, how did that thing contribute to the story in any way, again? Remind me... 🤣🤣🤣) Oh, and the directors didn't care to mention how in the world they're all gonna get off the island now. 💩 (Aren't they gonna run out of fuel in that tiny little speedboat and get attacked by a mosasaurus again? 😆 Watch out for those rocks, too 🤣)

Next, I want to talk about the trailers we got for this one... none of them were accurate to the actual plot of the film:

"This island was the research facility for the original Jurassic Park... these dinosaurs were too dangerous for the original park... the worst of the worst, were left here..."

Yeah, that plot lasted for 5 seconds. (Which is a shame, cuz I think that could have been REALLY, really cool to see...) But anyways, there were like 2 mutant dinosaurs in total, and all the rest where normal like the T-Rex, the velociraptor, the brontosaurus, stuff like that. So, yeah... I found that whole deal very upsetting; don't know why they changed everything up. (...huh... this is starting to sound a little familiar... CLICK HERE 😉)

Lastly, (I just gotta throw this one in there 🤪) everything was way too predictable, I'm sorry. 🤣 (But also, I gotta stop spoiling these movies for myself by watching all the trailers and behind the scenes videos beforehand; that's definitely not helping the whole "predictable" thing 😆😆😆)

...I also have a few other, short notes below. 💩👇🤣

• The Snickers bar is the villain of this story, yes...
• "...Human travel there is expressly forbidden"
  So they finally learned their lesson, eh? 🤣
• "You're not exactly hard to follow..."
  So... she's Black Widow again...? 😆
• "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear"
  Ha
  Anyone got that reference?

No Chris Pratt cameo, but still a fun dino flick. 😁

...oh, and Scarlett Johansson didn't turn into a velociraptor, so now you have to see it! 🤣

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

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