Why I'm Quitting Chess

Hello, people. Welcome to the Lightning Reports. I have decided to officially quit chess. It's quite sad and it brings me to tears, knowing I am quitting chess, but it's for the best. It is with great difficulty that I am writing this blog, but you deserve to know why I have decided to quit. So, I will share my reasons for deciding to quit chess here in this blog. And you'll want to read the whole thing to understand, starting with my first reason.

Reason #1: Pressure

Yeah. I feel the pressure on myself, most of which is self-inflicted. I'm tired, it's not fun anymore, and there's nothing more for me to learn. As you know if you've been reading my blogs, I am pushing myself to get the NM title by May 21st, which is when I graduate high school. It's my final goal in chess, in terms of my playing career. I've done everything else I've pushed myself to do. This is my last real goal. Once I get NM I will be free and I can play for fun. I used to play for fun. But that's not the case anymore. I now play for rating. There are tournaments that I usually would play in which I now avoid due to fear of losing rating points. Due to the pressure I've put on myself to get to 2200, I can no longer play for fun.

Aside from my goal of gaining 100 rating points in a month to get the NM title, I have also earned my state's nomination to compete in the Denker, which I talked about in my blog 2 weeks ago. This just means more pressure to do well for Alabama. Now, let it be clear. I will still play in the Denker despite quitting chess. I will still prepare for it. But I will go have fun. I will go with a different mindset. Yep. Anyways, the pressure has gotten to me, making chess no longer fun for me. This is the first reason I am quitting. But that's not the only reason, otherwise, I would have quit before now. Let's see the second reason I am quitting chess.

Reason #2: En Passant Removed

Ok, so, I was originally not going to quit, despite the pressure. But then, a reliable source confirmed to me that FIDE is removing en passant, and earlier today @Rodgy confirmed it in his blog. And this was just too much for me. En Passant, along with stalemate and flagging when you are getting checkmate on the next move, is one of the coolest parts of chess. I love en passant! Heck, I prefer it over checkmate! 

I mean, come on! Using your pawn to cheat and capture your opponents' pawns, it's so cool! And now it has been removed? Not cool, man. Not cool. En passant is one of the best parts of the game, so when I heard it was being removed, it crushed me. I immediately knew I no longer wanted to play chess. But first, I had to make sure I was making the right decision. I decided to ask some of you if you thought I should quit... which brings me to my final reason I am quitting chess.

Reason #3: It's My Choice

I sought advice from some of you, and they were very helpful. A common theme was that it's my choice, my decision, and they can't decide for me. Let me share some of the replies.

Me: "Should I quit chess?"

"It's not exactly our decision to choose your life's path" -@neatgreatfire

"If you don't feel like playing, don't" -@B1ZMARK

"Of course it's your decision and none of us know what's best for you." -@ricorat

"But our opinions don’t really matter. Do whatever you feel is best for yourself." -@Nimzo-IndianaJones 

"What's the point in trying if the one thing you like or one of the things you like just makes you feel worse about your day, super burnt out and tired from it all. I support your decision Snow, whatever your want to do bro I believe in you." -@kowarenai

Aw, how helpful you guys were! I can say with complete confidence that I would not be quitting if not for Neat, B1Z, Rico, Nimzo, and Kowarenai. So, thank y'all so much for your support. I mean, sure, there was more to their answers, but I only read and shared the helpful part. Now that I know for sure it is my decision, I can use reasons one and two to officially decide to quit. It's very sad, but it's for the best. Sure, it hurts my chances of getting the NM title, but honestly, with all the pressure, and without en passant, that's ok. It's not the same game without en passant. That was the nail in the coffin.

Too bad. So sad. But quitting is the way to go. The pressure I've put on myself to succeed will no longer bother me. And I won't miss chess too much, as it won't be worth playing without en passant. And that, my friends, is why I am officially quitting chess... for two whole days. I will not be playing any chess at all this weekend (excluding daily chess cause that still has en passant - can't get rid of it mid-game! Ha!). (EDIT: I failed. I couldn't make it even one day without playing. As it turns out, my life is dreadfully boring without chess lol). Yep. I really am quitting chess for 2 days. I wasn't kidding. Yeah. Ok, so thanks for reading! Remember to check your calendars and see what day it is! Bye!