Musings of a Moron

I'm at the board, this past Wednesday, round four out of five, my opponent is rated 1551. For this tournament, we play one rated game per week. I'm White. My rating is 1201. The time control is G90 with a 5-second delay. This is my third game against a much higher rated opponent (1500-1600). I won my previous two, had to forfeit my third due to a conflicting appointment.

The game begins. I play 1. e4. He plays 1...c5. I play my favorite anti-Sicilian, learned from a video by FM Alisa Melekhina, 2. c3. The game proceeds. I appear to be doing very well. My opponent blunders on move 12 and it looks like I'm going to win my third game!

And that's when I lost!

I lost because of a struggle that had absolutely nothing to do with what was happening on the chessboard, but everything to do with what was happening in my mind. I have a feeling too, that I am not alone in this, so for those of you too who have lost a won game under similar circumstances, I offer you this game, along with my moronic musings.

I lost because I counted on a victory before it had even occurred and stopped playing real chess. I forgot that my opponent wasn't simply going to hand me a victory--yes he had blundered, but being down a major for a minor piece in the opening is not immediately fatal, there was a lot of game left. I had forgotten that in similar circumstances I have done the exact same thing my opponent was doing. I too, have turned losses into victories by being patient, by playing every move, by creating problems for my opponent, and by offering infinite resistance. Chess is a struggle of ideas and that struggle should take place with a unified mind, a mind not distracted by any other purpose but to play chess and to play it as well as you can. Alisa, I'm sorry I let you down...

 FM Alisa Melekhina