Quotes Round 7
The last round of quotes to finish before 2026.
Any words that are put in brackets and highlighted in red are replaced words. I will only do this to censor swears in otherwise funny quotes.
Leaderboard
@carlsen - 16
@TheAuthorOfChickens - 7
@BermudanPM - 6
@Reflection - 6
@ToastBread_1 - 5
@Qoiuoiuoiuoiu - 5
@ARandomHuman45 - 5
@F1-24 - 4
@Deflection - 4
@Allan - 4
@Agentnoggin - 3
@SirBestor - 3
@SpaceChess - 3
@FreeFriendlyDove - 3
@BasixWhiteBoy - 2
@Quirrel - 2
@Lilyana - 2
@Marie_Hoa - 1
@MelainaCosmic1697 - 1
@NoahdeAlwis - 1
@astra_dominus - 1
@BigBoyzz3443 - 1
@CapSolman - 1
@LJGoomba - 1
@daja9 - 1
@Kai_Xzo - 1
@mjtcan - 1
@mishailu - 1
@Lions - 1
@Rayfamily - 1
@Forsaken - 1
@TheEnlighteningsLightning - 1
@Bezap - 1
@MrChatty - 1
@c9n - 1
@Caleb341 - 1
@dearprince - 1
"lily why do you do this all the time what— ----> chicken butt" - @Lilyana
"im 12 minutes old // thank [goodness] you weren't born when DST happened otherwise you'd be negative 49 minutes old." - @carlsen
"he quit // I feel like retired is a more accurate statement here // Yeah, when mit said "he quit", imagined Caleb saying "frick y'all allience IM QUITTING SOCIAL AAAAA"" - @carlsen
"I request to be in the 2027 New Year Mafia. // Sorry, signups have closed." - @carlsen
"CagedHostilPigeon // im so special that author had to make a typo for me 🥹" - @FreeFriendlyDove
"im unde-escalating" - @SpaceChess
"AHH WHY IS THERE A BUTTON FOR VARIANTS THAT'S CURSED. // i have a button for clubs" - @SpaceChess
"Someone asked me when I was 11 "From which plant does pasta grow from?" And I thought of that question for like ten minutes until I realized that pasta is not a crop." - @carlsen
"No CVC stands for carlsen vacuums carrots" - @ARandomHuman45
"Theres no cup, I ate it. // AGAIN?!?" - @SpaceChess
"Yeah, everyone is a otfer if you been to otf before // Guys I'm an otfer confirmed" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu
"Same!! I'm on a cheap school cromebook😂 // I know lol 😅 // Did I tell you or are you finding my IP address" - @Caleb341
"Wait yall, im bestor the stairsfaller, right? Do you know what that means? But seriously, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?? It means *clears throat* that i farm aura everytime i fall off the stairs" - @SirBestor
"RARE TOASTER MOMENT #1 SCREENSHOT AND DM TOAST TO GET A FREE DIAMOND MEMBERSHIP AND IF HE DOESN'T COMPLY I WILL SEND 52 MILLION CHICKENS TO HIS HOUSE" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"YAY I GOT THE NEW NOTHING PHONE 3 THANKS AUTHOR" - @carlsen
"i drank liquid nitrogen" - @ToastBread_1
"The evidence is literally right there in the game itself. You can click it, you can see the moves, you can see the accuracy number. Nothing about this is hidden or exaggerated. If someone chooses to dismiss it as a joke, that’s not because the facts aren’t available — it’s because they refuse to open their eyes to what’s in front of them. A two-day-old account played a 100% accuracy game against Komodo25. That’s not an opinion, that’s a recorded result. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to understand how rare it is. But pretending it didn’t happen just because it breaks your expectations doesn’t make it a joke — it just means you’re ignoring the evidence. // Why do you need AI to write even a small paragraph" - @c9n
"How is this magnus carlsen inpersonator who is actually fabiano caruana but somehow from egypt SA" - @Quirrel
"Carlsen, you should promote some random person and then immediately demote them to give Qoi a heart attack when he checks the audit log. // I'd prefer to throw a rock at my head than do that" - @carlsen
"EVERYBODY RIOT CARLSEN LIED TO US ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"im too immature to care about ppl celebrating my birthday fr can we rename the club to Toast is Goated for 1 day 👍" - @ToastBread_1
"Your brain can't sense pain because it has no pain receptors so it's possible to do surgery on the brain when the patient is alive. // Well I think we all know we can do surgery when the patient is alive." - @Allan
"what can i debate about? // sock sock shoe shoe or sock shoe sock shoe" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu
"Guys I know what happens when Toast reaches zero. We find out that the Bread family adopted him and that he was meant to be a cookie instead of bread" - @BermudanPM
"why are we doing it then // free lifetime diamond membership for everyone who had at least one comment in the forum also FIDE will be granting everyone honorary IM titles and +1000 rating" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu
"My morality does not allow me to blame my opponent for my mouse" - @MrChatty
"Carlsen, why do you believe chickens are capable of full English and running a Chess.com account? // idk the Egyptian culture told me so" - @carlsen
"i see none of you in my dreams because i don't even know what you guys look like" - @dearprince
"that's 3 words you piece of cooked chicken leg-" - @ToastBread_1
"did you just read a book but have no one to talk to about it? do you now need new book recommendations after reading Harry Potter for the fourteenth time?" - @Bezap
"Whats sleep // A myth created by the big anti-tech companies to make technology sound more harmful, that's what it is" - @TheEnlighteningsLightning
"I wanna get banned so I can get free diamond memebrship" - @Reflection
"I'm sorry but I couldn't stop the urge of pointing out B is not capitalized and so SCREENSHOTTED" - @FreeFriendlyDove
"OUR DONUTS ☭☭☭” - @Forsaken
"His age is decreasing every day rip" - @carlsen
"Shush default iphone ringtone" - @carlsen
"Never in my life have I ever been so disrespected by 583 people" - @Rayfamily
"i want to be a piece of cardboard when i grow up // sorr that was my younger brother hes visiting me with my parents and he has a weird obsession with cardboard" - @ARandomHuman45
"*screams one less than 68* // Summons admin reaper scythe" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu
"I put both the cvc and otf banner in my bio // traitor // I was sent to spy but I ended up getting too attached to this place" - @Allan
"I HAVE A COUNTRY AND 1000 HOURS IN MINECRAFT DONT KILL ME" - @BermudanPM
"friends 💀 // some may call them that, in reality I should call them eternal pain // eternal pain with benefits" - @Allan
"(Ik I don't have the PFP but still I'm canonically a tree)" - @Allan
"*admin status. Update the quote <3 --> Convince Qoi to make the background a picture of a cute kitten and I'll do it. /j" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"Terry your icon is different from mine. you have a white pawn with a cake. I have a technicolor pawn with a puzzle piece with a bite taken out of it. as I drive down the road of life I must pause on this distinction and pull over to the side of the road to stare up at the sky dumbfounded, "what does it all mean?"" - @Lions
"This post has helped me achieve my dreams to become an IKEA dining table. I wouldn't have done it without this inspirational post, I truly thank the creator for this. I'm now going to school to study the art of being a dining table, and also I'm teaching children about how I saw this post and it changed my life." - @mishailu
"Qoi banned me from using my admin status besides updating hh and flexing" - @Deflection
"It's AI (Author, look away)" - @mjtcan
"you are the deflated basketball in my gym-" - @Reflection
"That aint a shark bite you did it intentionally-" - @Kai_Xzo
"A wise man once said: NEVER turn light mode on chess.com on. Your eyes will go bye bye faster than the speed of light." - @SirBestor
"i ate an entire tube thingy of smarties in one go and now i feel sick for some reason" - @ARandomHuman45
"Pitiless joined here lol. Otf is either taking over or getting sick of OTF" - @BermudanPM
"Ew punctuation" - @ARandomHuman45
"*proceeds to just stare at qoi* Qoi is so indecisive like seriously, Authors owner, now just SA, wait a sec what’s going on here she’s admin, hold up nah she’s SA again, wait a minute, she’s coord now" - @BermudanPM
"so the guys in my class keep asking for my instagram and then they told me theyll pay me 5 dollars for it and i took the money, added them and blocked them ☺️" - @ARandomHuman45
"Well if Author gets banned, lets call SA, so he can say it's rigged-" - @daja9
"*wastes my lifetime reading 3000+ pages of Audit Log* yeah no suspicious accounts *dies of exhaustion*" - @carlsen
"*pats myself on the back and proceeds to have back pain*" - @Deflection
"I assure you this is correct, somehow." - @Deflection
"The most embarrassing thing was when there was a YT sub race between MrBeast and T-Series. The counter was close to 0 as MrBeast was passing up T-Series in real time. But I was used to seeing large numbers in these sub differences, as the person I'm supporting is falling behind, while the other is catching up. Anyways I thought the counter was going up which I thought it meant that T-Series was gaining subs really fast, and MrBeast stayed still. But then to only realize it didn't have a negative sign, so the number actually meant that MrBeast took over T-Series. But it was too late-as I thought T-Series was the one who's winning, so I screamed "NO0000000000000000" in the YT Live chat. Pretty cool right?" - @carlsen
"Imagine eating a chair to get quoted. Kids will do anything these days to get quoted-" - @carlsen
"everyone just leave this kid alone already -_- // but then we get arrested for child abandonment/j" - @Reflection
"Instructions unclear. I accidentally summoned an eldritch horror from an alternate dimension." - @LJGoomba
"i ate a chair" - @CapSolman
"What's @DayLight's nickname? // DST" - @carlsen
"author is that a turkey or goose T-T // flamingo" - @BermudanPM
"Authors pet chicken hijacked Authors computer helpp-" - @Deflection
"*coughs* https://www.chess.com/votechess/game/405745 // I'll join 🗿 // And lose us the game. Genius move.🗿" - @Reflection
"Some kid in my school called a sleeping woman in the library "the it" after someone said what if she wakes up he said, "Then "the it" knows that i'm calling it "the it"."" - @Agentnoggin
"I am vengeance I am the night I AM BATMAN And I have donuts 🍩" - @BigBoyzz3443
"i have awoken from my deep slumber, why are there rogue ai bots outside my house-" - @astra_dominus
"You know what Forsaken? To get revenge, I'm going to add this monstrosity to my NYE 2025 blog. That's right. Everyone will know the horrors of your username change. The randos in 2035 looking at old blogs will know. The randos who just joined and somehow found my blog will know. Viroh, Xumi, and Baby will know. Everyone who somehow forgot about this will be reminded. EVERYONE WILL KNOW ABOUT YOUR USERNAME SLIP UP" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"Whenever I go to cvc notes something weird always happens- // Clearly this is your fault" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu
"im going to put "chef" on my resume because i onced microwaved noodles without exploding the microwave" - @Quirrel
"I think we're about one page of religious debate away from becoming philosophers" - @F1-24
"Your dog can talk. // Mine can't because I don't have one" - @carlsen
""I'm such a good lad" - Overheard by me just now --> Your dog can talk. // He literally found the half-frozen remains of an animal yesterday... very good lad." - @F1-24
"my wifi should be convicted as a war criminal" - @Agentnoggin
"The legends of CVC, and then there's Agent (jk)" - @F1-24
"I learnt to not talk when Dove is active. // I learnt you're lying cuz apparently right now you're talking." - @FreeFriendlyDove
"Deflection, I guess I'll have to put in a word with the big man that you'll need coal this year. // I autopilot bc I kept thinking theyre multi club arenas due to old DTV --> Too late, I already called and they're not picking up when I try to call back. // Send text in Morse Code instead --> Elves can't understand morse code. It's their greatest weakness fr. They also don't know how to use bar soap. How do I know? The elf who answered when I called about Deflection getting coal was very talkative for some reason. His rant also included that the workshop got raided by turkeys who are on strike. "They pooped all over the place and ate all the stuffing for the stuffed animals thinking it was the bread type of stuffing. They proceeded to throw up because they ate non-edible stuffing and pushed Jerry off a cliff. It took Dasher and Rudolph 30 minutes to get his leg free. And then the turkeys poisoned Comet's food so we had to deal with that mess. Don't worry, he's fine now. The rest of the reindeer and a couple of polar bears managed to chase the turkeys off but now there's feathers, poop, and barf everywhere. After that, Rudolph's nose turned neon pink and he floated to the ceiling. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong so they put a harness on him and assigned one of the elves to bring him around like a balloon. Oh yeah and the head of the Macy's Parade said the Easter Bunny stole their balloons so we have to help them with that. No, I'm sorry. That was Jack Frost. I dunno where I got Easter Bunny from. Anyway, after that we found that the sleigh had been vandalized. We still can't get it off so I guess Santa will have to ride on the back of one of the reindeer because we're not sending him up in a sleigh with "Poop tastes delicious" spray painted on it. Oh, I'm sorry. What were you calling about? Oh my gosh you're not the head of the cleaning department! I'm so sorry! He's on vacation and I thought he was calling me for a rundown on what happened."" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"Welcome to my useless blog. Ive wasted about 7 seconds of your life by now. You're welcome." - @Lilyana
"IT'S "Philosopher's Stone" NOT "Sorcerer's Stone" WHAT KIND OF A HARRY POTTER FAN ARE YOU- // Im a harry potter fan trust me *clears throat* so Darth Vade—" - @carlsen
"I just ate a plate" - @ToastBread_1
"eh we all make mistakes I once shouted a wrong answer saying it's right but the answers were literally below it" - @carlsen
"lol i am such a idiot i thought it was 8 o'clock and that my clock was just wrong for saying it was 9 pm." - @NoahdeAlwis
"I come with the expectation that all my wishes will come true, since my fortune cookie from months ago said so." - @BasixWhiteBoy
"You can’t spell CVC without BasixWhiteBoy." - @BasixWhiteBoy
"Milky Way is actually heaven though // not rlly- // *pulls out Admin Gu- oh wait" - @F1-24
"Deflecting has 18 alts or sum because he deflects the bans" - @ToastBread_1
"Me and deflection have made a bet on this. If there is a dove v author final he closes his account for a week, if not I have to close my account for a week" - @BermudanPM
"hey maybe that's why author keeps leaving then rejoining so she can sweep the bracket fights" - @Reflection
"You can take the plates out of the dishwasher but you can't take the dishwasher out of the plates." - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"I think I'm 41 no I'm 61 wait no, 19? 8, wait wait, that's my grandpas age -- no, my brothers-- wait I don't have one uhm, uhm, I think I'm 4161198 years old" - @Reflection
"there is a guy in my dms who said he was gonna be 19 yesterday, but seems to have forgotten our entire conversation and is now claiming to be 15 💀" - @MelainaCosmic1697
"Was it fun seeing POV one of your victims of the belief that you're town? // yes" - @Agentnoggin
"Bruh my friend just asked me in dms am i a troll bcs his friend (me) is bestor😆" - @SirBestor
"What if all the apples were used for bobbing apples on Halloween already- --> THEN WE SWITCH TO FLAT SCREEN TVS" - @TheAuthorOfChickens
"What if i ate all the food in the world and you had nothing left but turkeys? // we start a rebellion against cats, and we try to kill their leader, aka you because of unworthy bigback behavior" - @Marie_Hoa
