The Update: Chapter 13
This is a work of fiction and is not meant to accurately represent any people, places, or events it references.
Username Colors and their Meaning in Clubs
Owner
Super Admin
Admin
Coordinator
Member
December 31, 2025 11:00 PM ET
In the notes of Chess.org vs. ChessChild
Pfpsarelame: I've scheduled an arena to start at midnight my time so we can celebrate. Shouldn't be hard to find, but it's titled "Free points to whoever stays awake the longest"
Desolate: Do you guys wanna do a Skribbl?
CagedHostilePigeon: Sure!
Pitiful_Bishop: When should I post OTFAAD?
I_Like_Top_Gun: What's that?
Pitiful_Bishop: Alive At Day. The replacement for Deceased At Nocturnal Hours.
I_Like_Top_Gun: Makes sense. You could just post it now.
*Pitiful_Bishop posts the forum*
Pitiful_Bishop: Anyone who posts there is an honorary OTFer. Dw, I made a list of the OGs from before Basic decided to stage a revolution.
Magnus: No one dare call it a thread.
Pitiful_Bishop: No one dare respect Magnus.
Magnus: I will demote you.
Pfpsarelame: I will demote Magnus.
Magnus: Fine.
Agentneck: Guys why is Basic's account open again?
Pfpsarelame: Wait what
Desolate: Ah shoot
Pitiful_Bishop: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I_Like_Top_Gun: Guys it's a joke look his account isn't actually open.
Agentneck: XD
I_Like_Top_Gun: Also, why are the staff almost always the ones talking?
CagedHostilePigeon: Probably because we're actually active.
I_Like_Top_Gun: I'm active.
Agentneck: Clearly not active enough XD
Agentneck: What the heck XD
Agentneck: I DIDN'T TYPE THAT?! XD
Agentneck: STOP SAYING XD XD
Pfpsarelame: Agent please tell me you're pulling our legs ;-;
theeldestjester: Happy New Year! 🥳
theeldestjester: Uh oh. What's happening?
Agentneck: I swear I'm not purposefully putting XD at the end of every note XD
Pfpsarelame: AGENT
Agentneck: I'M NOT PRANKING YOU XD
hehehehehehehehe: So, anyone read any good books lately?
ohnoasunroof: I finished Harry Potter and the Radioactive Flying Ford Anglia yesterday.
Pfpsarelame: NOT AGAIN
RussianGoose22: That's not a real Harry Potter book.
ohnoasunroof: Yes it is.
RussianGoose22: No it's not. I think you're confusing fanfiction with canon.
*RussianGoose22 looks it up*
RussianGoose22: WHY IS IT LISTED AS CANONICALLY HAPPENING AFTER DEATHLY HALLOWS
Pfpsarelame: AGENT WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Agentneck: I DON'T KNOW XD
Agentneck: Just kidding I'm fine.
Pfpsarelame: -_-
NoahTheHistoricallyAccurate: Excuse me what.
RussianGoose22: Wait hold up that's the AI summary.
RussianGoose22: False alarm, everyone! It's AI being dumb!
NoahTheHistoricallyAccurate: Pfps what is this private description?
Pfpsarelame: Ah shoot
NoahTheHistoricallyAccurate: The British did not fight America over a block of cheese. Fix it now.
Pfpsarelame: I'm sorry Noah I just thought it'd be funny ðŸ˜
ICantPlayChess: Nice lol
William5678f: Hehehe
Pfpsarelame: Get out of here you OTFers
11:30 PM ET
I_Like_Top_Gun: Any predictions for 2026?
Desolate: Something chaotic will happen.
Pfpsarelame: Yeah but that's obvious. I think Chess.com's gonna remove the forums section entirely.
APlannedDog54: They'd better not.
CagedHostilePigeon: Maybe they'll finally fix the glitch where if you play e5 on move 7 all your pieces turn invisible.
I_Like_Top_Gun: How long has that glitch existed for?
CagedHostilePigeon: Rumor has it that the glitch has been here since the site first started.
I_Like_Top_Gun: RIP
Agentneck: I predict I'll own a popular club in August.
Magnus: Apple will make the aPhone and it's basically just an iPhone but all the functions are backwards.
I_Like_Top_Gun: I wouldn't be surprised if CC changed the UI yet again.
TomCruise_33: Maybe a fight will start and Scorpion197 will go and tell the entire site about the fight and end up bringing in basically every currently-active member to spectate-
Scorpion197: Why me specfically?
TomCruise_33: DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE FIGHT BETWEEN DANIEL AND KEVIN?!
Scorpion197: I do
TomCruise_33: AND WHAT DID YOU DO?
Scorpion197: I dunno
TomCruise_33: YOU WENT AND RECRUITED A BUNCH OF SPECTATORS
Scorpion197: Oh yeah I remember now, sorry about that.
TomCruise_33: -_-
Kaleb341: I remember Kevin's monologue to me lol. I think I have a screenshot saved somewhere.
Agentneck: And then Daniel downloaded his rickroll software onto Kevin's computer
Agentneck: Do you even remember that, Daniel?
Daniel777: Of course I do
SlytherinRules1942: Have you even talked to him (outside of CC) since that incident?
Daniel777: Yeah I have actually. He said he regrets his actions but doesn't feel ready for a ban appeal. He wants to know if anyone would give him a second chance if he did return.
Pfpsarelame: I believe in second chances.
TomCruise_33: He kind of destroyed my entire club after I trusted him as a SA though.
Kaleb341: As the guy he gave his monologue to, I'll give him a chance.
The_new_Josh: Does he mean second chance or forgiveness? Those are technically separate things.
Daniel777: Second chance.
The_new_Josh: I'd be willing to forgive him.
Daniel777: Do you mean that or is it just for show?
Desolate: Yeah, you shouldn't say that just to say it.
The_new_Josh: No, I mean it.
Daniel777: I'll pass the message along.
January 1, 2026
Pfpsarelame: Well, that was a chaotic 2025. Happy New Year, everyone!
Desolate: Petition to never again cause that much chaos?
Magnus: Yep
Agentneck: Agreed
Pitiful_Bishop: Signed
Kaleb341: *signs*
Daniel777: Please
Placeholder: 100% agreed
I_Like_Top_Gun: Yep
boatmachete: I'll sign it
CagedHostilePigeon: Definitely
NoahTheHistoricallyAccurate: I completely agree
Desolate: Well then, it's official. Never again shall this much chaos be caused on Chess.com. Happy New Year!
I would like to thank @Reflection for her enthusiasm and love of this story. It's fun to see your comments on The Update chapters (:
And of course, thank you to everyone else who read Bottom Gun and/or The Update! Dw, I'm just as confused as you are lol
Shoutout to @F1-24's Trouble at the Club series, @F1-24's Choose The Story series, and @Reflection's Social.com Vs. All Things Conflict series (currently with only one chapter)! I don't remember which stories were inspired by which (mine included), but I enjoy both of them!
