The Truth

Aug 18, 2009, 1:15 PM |

There was a time in my life when I would have de' java repeatedly. Twisting and turning flipped around with no control of your movement, puppet master has all the control over me in these dreams.

Track and field, Running, never getting to the finish line, falling never reaching the bottom, your heart beats like African drums at a war party. Tyrannical darkness surrounds you, like a vacuum sucking the breath out of you while you stand in a running river of your own sweat.

What’s coming out the dark? Not knowing the real killer and the verdict is in, darkness found guilty of scaring the living shit Out of you,

 Feeling like you’re lost in time never ending with nowhere to go, eye’s open while the darkness keeps them closed. The nights sky no stars to gaze upon only a deep black mist. Sucking you into its black hole of loneliness with no one to talk to are grabbing on to, you become a minute man without a relief for the next watch.

 Here it comes out of the dark fast and with no sound making that drum beat even more intense, over flowing that river(sweat river), nothing that’s just what it is that overwhelms you, because you don’t know what to expect. It’s like being held under water gasping for air. This is what the loneliness and the darkness dose to you. Like a predator stalking you in the wild to satisfy her hunger or feeding her young ones, this is the darkness and the loneliness attacking your inner sole and raping your mind of thought.

With one turn, coming down like a water fall into a hole taking a ride as if it‘s on a roller coaster ride down pipes that twist down into the ground to its destination, the water coming out of the faucet has a destination, in the darkness there is no destination no falling point. You’re like a baby in a womb without the mothers love and warmth, so you drown in the deaths of the darkness and the loneliness.

 Like a slave chained in a dark cellar awaiting to be whipped by his slave master, picture that, and you don’t have to close your eyes the darkness has control of your sight. Your taste for light becomes a boxing mach. Tyson hits you with a mighty blow that takes you deeper into the darkness that imprisons you more, fighting to get free to see light, you swing hitting nothing as you take the hard hits from the darkness bruising your mind and soul. The darkness and loneliness play tricks on your mind making you lose your focus on what really matter on helping you to get out of this nightmare.

 You start to feel God has turned his back on you that is only the darkness dissecting your mind like a doctor in an operating room. Like a batter at home plate you swing at the ball three strikes and you are out, the darkness throws you curves, screw, and fastballs repeatedly you swing and miss, you realize! Darkness is a great pitcher with no contract. Oh! I see light coming through, is it my savior? No!

 I see face’s that aren’t like any that I’ve seen before in my life time. Alien reaching out to me to come aboard their ship into their light, when I reach out everything is a blur this has to be the darkness playing tricks on me because I know that darkness has no face. Release me release me! This is my cry for freedom. Let me out of the darkness and with God as my witness I’ll never be lonely. Time comes and it goes’ and waits on no one, we are born, and we die, into the light we come and into the darkness we go. I understand that heaven is a place with graceful lights for all who embrace God and his word.

 Knock! Knock! No one answers not a sound you want to hear a voice call out to you, only sound you hear is darkness a still sound nothing, darkness has consumed your hearing. You know that your ears are there, but they are no good to you like a car without gas.

 Outer space is cold and dark with the stars being your yellow brick road to Kansas City Kansas. Darkness leads you around and around on a path to nowhere. While loneliness stays silent, you pray for them to be your friends they don’t give into your sorrow of the fear of the darkness or loneliness. Where are the ones that protect and serve? 911 I’m being held against my will a hostage. Shoot your guns now right now! Free me, hand cuff these enemies. I have no rights in this world, there aren’t any bills of rights no constitutional rights for me darkness is a communist ruler. You ask me!

What I’m I doing here. What's in your pocket, can I search your car, your dressed in blue in the company of a badge United We Stand Divided We Fall? Help me! Do your job; pull me out of this crime scene? Move the yellow and black tape, Darkness.

 It lacerates your skin like a knife going deeper and deeper making the cut into an open womb as your lungs collapse like a deflated balloon. Dose the pain, suffering, sorrow end. I can’t close my eyes the darkness won’t let me see it has made me handicapped.

Everyone is a judge of person and hides their darkness and loneliness because of wanting to fit in. Someone say’s “I love you” that’s to die for. Your losing the fight cause there isn’t anything to fight for nothing that you need in your life do away with the old and bring in the new if it’s going to help you in your life. No one ask for this darkness to come, it has a way of working itself into your life.

Like China, build your great wall to keep the aggressor locked out. The only true friends in life are puppy’s that you groom into dog’s your pet and buddy. Sometimes in life, you know that things aren’t right for you that darkness pulls and tugs you like a steamboat on the Mighty Mississippi. So now you feel the darkness and not what really matters to you and that’s the real side of life not the B.S. Cry out all you want no one comes to see, let them cry out, there you go like Clark Kent thinking that you can save the day, oh! However, you got their day. What about yours, no answers found for your day, why? Cry out and you’ll see.

What is family someone out in the streets? Maybe that’s why a lot of kid’s direct their souls to the street maybe to some it takes the darkness away and kicks the loneness out of their life, I don’t believe that, but it could be true for some.

You jump from an airplane with no parachute falling to the earth your family is there so you think bam! You hit, that darkness is the same and has no remorse for anyone.

 Iraq, Afghanistan what about Iraq and Afghanistan we have been there for years in America, who wants to admit that? Here this woman comes looking like God’s Gift to earth; we know that God did not send her to any of us. She has no conviction. Darkness has control; once again over your mind and body, get that pussy! Get that pussy! Darkness knows darkness knows what that pussy holds for you. Education fades from your vision; time fades without you realizing what is really going on around you. You hear click! Click! As you looked down, the barrels, two nines darkness and loneliness.

Darkness say’s! I come to kill you and loneliness say’s! I don’t know what you might have with you. They already knew.

A door opens you try to go towards the light, you realize that you can’t move. Your feet covered by doom a tarry substance, who is it? You should know by now. There is hope because you can break free from this darkness, grab the hands that are reaching out to you and let them pull you forward.

 You start to build your house you realized that there are no nails in your bucket. It doesn’t hold, the nails are the key to holding the house together. Around and around it circles normally it gets the best of you, now it’s your only friend in the world. Where are we? You have no answer like Tarzan moving to New York City out of the jungle, lost that’s what you are. Your trap in a web, help me! Help me! The little voice cries out to you. Your trapped, struggling like that fly in a web.

 The spider was hungry and the man had no conviction for the human side of the fly trapped in the web. The fly has nowhere to go and no one to save the fly with the human head, from the darkness, spider, or the rock that’s going to take his life. That’s a smothering thought.

 The darkness has your sight; there is no light to see with your eyes wide open. Closing your eyes slowly, afraid that you’ll be herded closing your eyes by the darkness.

 There is the light again that piece of hope that you hold on to its running free no one has control of its movement, one comes out of the east and one from the west with no confusion. They crash into one another rising to the sky coming back down to the sea as one flowing off into the sunset, that is what you dream in this dark world a wave on the ocean being pushed.

 Story of one, walking around chest out, a man of steel no one can touch you as you roll around lands unknown. Five brains, ten eyes and ears, voices are coming out of a box. Doesn’t that make you feel safe? Rolling in a bulletproof vehicle with four other persons and radio, with someone letting you know what’s ahead. You would think so; darkness has its way.

Looking, off over the horizon. Enjoying the comfort of that old oak rocker, that passes down generation to generation. The old rocker makes a sound like crickets, taking you completely out of that old cotton and tobacco fields.

Hatred covers you with heat, from a distance of that once pleasant horizon. The wood burns with a blaze like you never seen, fueled by revulsion. The fields you worked every day grab you by your neck cocking the life out of you. That cow you milk on a regular snap across your back cutting your flesh to the bone. Leaves fall to the ground from jerking and kicking.

Trees grow from the earth as God had them to do for us to build and make things of necessities of life not for tools of destruction. See! Even back then, darkness had no mercy.

Darkness and Loneliness are time jumpers going and leaving as they please.

Hey! I wouldn’t trust you to save my life. Sledgehammer comes down crushing yourself confidence. Out of the Majors, mouth loud, and proudly not thinking of the repercussions of his words, that darkness! The world’s greatest painters can’t paint a face on any canvas to describe darkness and loneliness.

A man can see a face of another man and paint a picture without any art tools in his hand, now he is Leonardo Da Vinci within his mind. A smile makes you enraged. Thought of change makes you look for alternatives to judge a friendly face with a smile. Darkness and Loneliness do not care about infringement of any one person, it is a tyrant that in-slaves your mind taking away your adversity, diversity and your argument of what is freedom.

Darkness, chained in your mind and heart, like Kunta-Kinte I am tiring to run, and you are at a standstill. I hear your dogs barking, horses pounding the ground coming to pull me back and cut me off from that light of mine that you plea to have.

No bottom to sink your ships anchor into, back to sea sailing, cold freezing water darker than the darkest night, no moon, stars or compass to guide your way. There is no Jack on this Titanic April 19, 1989; dark black smoke kicks out into the air with the souls of 47 shipmates.

Darkness and Loneliness finds their way.