Apparently, my deep and intricate method of picking teams to win purely based on their awesome name choice was severely flawed, as I managed to score less than 50% in my week one predictions, managing to accurately project the winner in only 11/24 matches.
Not to fear! I am return with a venegeance. Undeterred, let's go for a perfect "one-hundo" this week.
Starting in the...
Delhi Dynamite 12 - Mumbai Movers 4
The team from Delhi appears too strong in this match, and I expect a solid performance from top board Gupta.
Odisha Express 12.5 - Amaravati Yodhas 3.5
Outgunned, Yodhas are. Fall, they shall. Aboard all the Odisha express am I.
Gorky Stormbringers 9.5 - Shymkent Nomads 6.5
I'm a "rider on the storm" once again. C'mon Shaposhnikov, don't let me down!
Budapest Gambit 10 - Belgrade Sparrows 6
Still waiting on the Reverse-Budapest (1. Nf3 d5 2. e4). Someone's got to play it eventually!
Ljubljana Direwolves 9 - Riga Magicians 7
If it isn't obvious, I'm really rooting for Ljubljana this season. Riga was strong in week 1, but I always predict with my heart, OK?
Norway Gnomes 13 - Johannesburg Koeksisters 3
The gnomes munch the donuts. 'Errbody know that.
Abuja Rockstars 8.5 - Lagos Leatherbacks 7.5
This should be a very close and probably quite entertaining match, but I'm rocking out with Abuja once more... and again still offer my services as a free agent. I really want to rock, ok? Let a boy dream.
Amsterdam Mosquitoes 9.5 - Appledoorn Apes 6.5
Spoelman went full on monster. I expect more of the same.
Marseille Migraines 10 - Cannes Blockbusters 6
I said it before and I'll say it again - two elite players equals victory in this format. Always. The only real question is can MVL go 4-0 again? I wouldn't bet against him.
Hamburg Swashbucklers 10 - Dublin Desperados 6
Someone call Antonio Banderas and his loaded guitar, the Desperados will need all the help they can get this week.
Stockholm Snowballs 10 - Reykjavik Puffins 6
Never, ever bet against a Puffin. See rule no. 1. Which is, you don't talk about fight club. No wait, it's never bet against a Puffin. This is so confusing. Anyway, I'm breaking rule no. 1, as I like Stockholm's top 2 boards - Meier and Agrest - to win the day.
London Towers 8.5 - London Lions 7.5
Probably the match of the week in merry old London. I'll take the Towers by the slimmest of margins, behind a surprise day from Richard Pert.
Buenos Aires Krakens 11 - Patagonia Penguins 5
I really want some "Pheer the Kraken" T-shirts made up.
New York Knights 8.5 - Miami Champions 7.5
Nakamura can only score 4, and though I think Itturizaga has a nice day, I'm worried about Miami's lower boards.
Columbus Cardinals 8.5 - Carolina Cobras 7.5
Very tight matchup. This comes down to boards 3 and 4, where I give Columbus the tiniest of edges.
Philadelphia Invetors 11 - Atlanta Kings 5
Philly's top 3 shine, and Norowitz goes 3.5/4.
New Jersey Knockouts 9 - Montclair Sopranos 7
I believe, New Jersey, I believe! Gimme some Benjifish combo at the top to win the day.
Montreal Chessbrahs 10.5 - Toronto Dragons 5.5
Li Chao headlines another strong showing from the Chessbrahs, who should consider a name change if their namesake remains absent.
Minnesota Blizzard 9.5 - Pittsburgh Pawngrabbers 6.5
Pittsburgh's lineup improves with the addition of Perelshteyn, but this is MN's strongest available lineup, and I expect them to perform very well.
Saint Louis Arch Bishops 9- Webster Windmills 7
Will these two teams play OTB? Because they could. STL too strong up top, 9-7 AB's.
Rio Grande Ospreys 9 - Dallas Destiny 7
My "almost upset of the week", but in the end Dallas falls just short.
San Jose Hackers 10 - San Francisco Mechanics 6
"Shakh Attack" leaves the Mechanics in need of repair.
Seattle Sluggers 10 - Portland Rain 6
The battle of the Pacific NW goes to the Sluggers.
San Diego Surfers 11 - Las Vegas Desert Rats 5
Dreev drops bombs, leaving Mike Zaloznyy dazed and confused. Surfers defeat sand in a game of rock, paper, scissors.