Alejandro Might Be a Bad Person But He's REALLY Good At Chess
The World Chess Hall Of Fame in St. Louis, where you can find the world's largest (and most phallic) chess piece.

Alejandro Might Be a Bad Person But He's REALLY Good At Chess

| 17

OK, you caught us. We've been employing a person who has been doing some really terrible stuff. But in our defense- he's really good at chess. Like, REALLY good at chess.

Just so we're all clear, we've known about this stuff for years. And rather than getting rid of the guy, we actually increased his access to minors. He's been really enthusiastic about working with kids, and we take care of our employees!

But let's also be clear that this wasn't your everyday "sexual harassment" or "sexual assault" or even "rape" stuff. (Though on the advice of our lawyers, we don't officially condone any of those acts.)  This was more of the "get children drunk so that you can rape them" variety, with some violence against women thrown in for good measure. 

But oh my gosh. Do you remember that time in 2013 when he almost won the US Chess Championship? He came in second on tiebreaks, but still. You have to be really good to do that. He beat Robert Hess!

Plus, come on. Jen Shahade? That woman? She wasn't even a minor when Alejandro did those things to her. She was probably asking for it. Or regrets it. Or made it up to get attention. Or was dressed too provocatively. (We'll just keep attacking her, because we've heard that's a great legal strategy).

But do you know why he had such unbelievable access to minors? He was a Grandmaster. Grand. Master. Do you know what that means? It means he won a LOT of chess games. So what if he was a grown man who liked hanging out alone with high-school girls? At night? In hotel rooms? And getting them drunk?

It's trendy to think that chess should be a safe place for women (and children). But do you know what chess really is about? The chess. Being really, really good at it. Or at least being so rich that you can pay to have grandmasters hang out with you. 

Now that this story has been picked up by a national news outlet, it has become obvious we can't just wait out the storm and keep Alejandro on staff (believe it or not, that was our plan when the story broke on So we at the St. Louis Chess Club (or US Chess Federation, because it's kind of both of us) have now cut ties with GM Ramirez. 

Our official stance is that GM Ramirez' alleged actions are contrary to our educational missions- look at the new boilerplate we put up on the STLCC web site called "Policy on Relationships and Interactions with Minors"! Unofficially, however, many of us are still holding out hope that we can bring him back once the attention wears off. Assuming he doesn't go to jail.

We're sorry that you caught us employing a person like this. Our greatest regret is that you found out. But seriously, check out this game!!