Anyone want to be coached for $9999 per hour?

I am a CGM, so I have tons of experience in this field. 

My qualities/resume part I guess

1. I have 20 years of experience in this field. What's that you say? I am only 19? ShHHHH
2. I am the WCC
3. All of my students have become CGMs... I have not had any students yet so that is technically true
4. My lessons will magically make you get straight As or if you have a job they will make you get promoted up to CEO
5. I am undefeated in monopoly, stratego, battleship, uno, and phase 10.
6. I have taught many people, and they later became famous.
7. I am good pls give me money

My students and their quotes:

"If bang, pow pow but opposite."

"Me is albert enistain gave ma me avards."

"wah is chekahs?"

"Don't look up full photos of me"

"ha gottem"

"lol the dragon/pirc are bad just like you."

Hire me, it is clear I am the best coach out there.

If it has not been made clear, I am a CGM, or checkers grandmaster.

me!!!!!!!!!

This is a steal

me!

and b1z

Ayy

"If bang, pow pow but opposite."

(this was actually me lol)

yeah right

I bet I could eventually make you not undefeated in uno

Wut

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/uno-online/fpbnpljegegohllohhgcmgjbcijfcfld/related?hl=en

Uno online

well i cant download that lol

https://www.letsplayuno.com/ seems legit hmm?

BRUH THAT TITLE -_-

He’s also famous for his 0-24 record against me

bc ry had to leave

i just guessed that bc it was the only logical guess

how many horsie emojis is that ?

ok