Biggest caveman openings?

OK, let's imagine you're a club player who likes to attack, but you're not so subtle ...

So you want an opening repertoire that's designed to get quick attacks. It can't be completely ridiculous, but doesn't have to be fully sound either.

What do you play with each colour?

My suggestions:

White: BDG against d5, Something like d4, Nc3, f3, e4 against 1... Nf6 (i.e. BDG by transposition)

Black against e4: Elephant Gambit

Black against d4: Albin Counter Gambit 

Let's have your suggestions. What would you play if you went full caveman?

(You never go full caveman.)

London system + H4, H5, H6

Even against a QID-style setup? Caveman, for sure, but what would the pawn be taregeting if black hasn't played g6?

I play this against e4 a lot but only in blitz and bullet.

Then jus concentrate your forces on the kingside with a6, h6-g6, f5, Qe8-g6, f5 etc.

There's a variation of the Sicilian I used to play in my crazy, wild-attacking days.

[Yes, I realize Black has b4 and can win the e-pawn, but I was just illustrating the idea!]  The downside is that Black has to deal with c4 lines, as well as 5.Qg4!? being annoying / possibly refuting the whole thing.  I stopped playing it shortly after that.

The Stonewall Dutch was my preferred opening aaginst 1.d4, back when I was crazy attacking.  Idea is even easier: Ne4, push g5-g4, Roof lift, mate on h2.

Smithy,

I far prefer the way you play the Stonewall to how I play the Stonewall. Compared to you, I play it like a wuss.