Dear h4--
Please do not loiter about my premises anymore! I have already begun proceedings to obtain a restraining order against you, inasmuch as you are known to be a weakener of dwellings, as well as a flagrant time waster. Any further correspondence should be sent to my legal representative at his address.
Sincerely,
Andy
Dear d4!
How are you my great friend ? I hope you’re fine. We have to speak about something important. Unfortunately I won’t be able to see you as much as I did.
I’ve found some interesting information lately which persuaded me to leave you. I wasn’t happy about it, however I found the same information in several sources, therefore it must be true. From now on I will have to fight my battles with your twin e4. It is said to be more benefical for the improving players. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved you. You were always reliable and you produced defenses which were nice to play against like the QGD or the Slav. I had so much fun with you. On the other hand your twin is such an evil guy, guess what the „e” stands for. He is always looking for trouble, and fighting against any defenses, yet he is not even protected !
I hope the end of our relationship is just temporary, I don’t want to leave you forever. I’m planning to get back to you and the positions that we will reach together will be on a higher level.
Love
guesso