Omg
Rasputin Opening (Classical Variation) and The Johnathan Response

i don't like playing e4 tho
I assume you mean 1. d4 then? We need a name for 1. d4 if we give this name for 1. e4.
Maybe 1. d4 could be named "The Best Opening Move"
(p.s. ignore 1. c4, 1. Nf3 and other possible contenders for the best objective opening move lol)

Nice analysis, but this isn't a real game of yours is it @Azathot0 ? The first move is indeed the Classical Variation of the Rasputin Opening: The Johnathan Response. However, with 2. Ke2, Play has transposed into an opening I won't care to discuss (but GM @Hikaru might lol).
Also, Black has allowed some strange stuff but ...Bb3+ is the one that baffles me the most.

I like the Rasputin Opening, but I usually play the Boney M variation - it contans a real Daddy Cool line.

Ah yes, that game began as the Rasputin Opening, Classical Variation; but it appears to have transposed into a line of the Ruy Lopez.

Wtf?! Rasputin opening... Maybe we have Napoleon opening... or Dracula opening, also?
Napoleon actually exists (1. e4, e5, 2. Qf3...) but it's easily countered since it's going for a scholar's mate

Wtf?! Rasputin opening... Maybe we have Napoleon opening... or Dracula opening, also?
Dracula gambit...
common line

Wtf?! Rasputin opening... Maybe we have Napoleon opening... or Dracula opening, also?
Dracula gambit...
common line
Sure your lines aren't confused? By "Dracula" I think they meant the Frankenstein-Dracula Variation out of the Vienna game. That is 1. e4 e5 2. Nc3 Nf6 3. Bc4 Nxe4
OK I know next to nothing about chess, is the E4 Rasputin Opening an actual chess opening or is it a reference to the song or something else?

OK I know next to nothing about chess, is the E4 Rasputin Opening an actual chess opening or is it a reference to the song or something else?
Probably just sounded funny or referencing the Rasputin song. In chess, that move is simply called "1. e4" lol
The "opening" then will transpose into something based on how white and black play the next moves, but yeah "Rasputin Opening" is not a real thing in chess.

i don't like playing e4 tho
I assume you mean 1. d4 then? We need a name for 1. d4 if we give this name for 1. e4.
Maybe 1. d4 could be named "The Best Opening Move"
(p.s. ignore 1. c4, 1. Nf3 and other possible contenders for the best objective opening move lol)
1. d4 is DEFINITELY not the best
1. e4 and 1...e5 will probably always be called that for simplicity, but should we informally call 1. e4 The Rasputin Opening (Classical Variation) and 1...e5 The Johnathan Response, in honor of this video?
p.s. Other than Kasparov's err... "tactics" at the end there: I think this is pretty funny. My favorite part is the Chess-a-tron part. What parts does everyone else like?