THE SHAPIRO OPENING: I INVENTED IT

So, how is the "Shapiro Opening" (my last name is shapiro) that I just invented:

Okay so the question is, why on earth would black play all those silly moves?  No offense intended, but while white has a perfectly reasonably position here and agreed, black is pretty well shot open, there's no way to make this happen by playing good moves for white.   You are relying rather on black making terrible moves.    3.   ..., dxe for example is much more in line with 1.   ..., c6 style of play.   Then after nxe, bf5.  Suddenly it is white who is wide open.  

Okay so the question is, why on earth would black play all those silly moves?

I don't know, I'm just giving this opening a name so that it is an actual opening

black already plays a ridiculous move on move 1 why the hell play c6.

why would black play b5?

Well, it might work if you are playing both colours.

Seriously, though, your opening is pointless. There's practically no chance your opponent will play those moves.

It's just the Bird opening with bad play by black.  Nice try though...

Judging from the first, it would have to be a variation of the Bird. 

Bird Opening, Shapiro Variation