What is Black's worst response to 1.e4?

Contrary to my opinion that 1...Nf6 is the worst against 1.e4, I have to agree that it's 1...f5 by a landslide!

f5

I beg to differ. Qxe8 actually leads to a stalemate after

Or the more complicated King-hopping Variation:

Black's worst response is start a mindless thead on the same topic.  End of story.

I dont think b5 is worse than f5.

I actually have around 20+ online games with b5, where White scores 55%, Black 45%. It's not great, but not horrendous.

Sample game:

I don't see why white is playing exf5 rather than d3 at some point. b5 is horrible.

Harry, no offense, but your response gets a "No Sh*t Sherlock".

I'm well aware of what the Alekhine Defense is.  I'm over 2100 over the board.  I simply have ZERO respect for it, and feel that the Classical Variation (1.e4 Nf6 2.e5 Nd5 3.d4 d6 4.Nf3) just blows it away.

I've played just about every common opening known to man kind at some point or another, and there are 3 of them that I have zero respect for, and find them to be a complete bust with correct play from the opposite side.  This is not to be confused with opening that I simply don't like, don't fit my style of play at all, or have me outright stumped.  For example, I can't for the life of me play the White or Black side of the Najdorf.  I've tried numerous times, and it all makes zero sense to me.  I fully respect the defense, but I personally won't play it.

The three openings that I find to be a complete bust assuming correct play from both sides are:

1) Alekhine's Defense (Black) - The Classical Variation being the bust

2) Benko Gambit (Black) - Very few GMs play this any more because of both the Fianchetto Variation and the King Walk Variation both being very strong for White

3) King's Gambit (White) - the Modern Variation (3...d5), the 3...g5 lines, the Falkbeer Counter-Gambit (2...d5) and the Classical Declined (2...Bc5) are all dead equal at worst for Black if not slightly better.  If White gets no advantage and in MANY lines is on the wrong end of the stick, as far as I'm concerned, it's a bust.  White should, under no circumstances, be worse out of the opening.  Only Black should accept a slight disadvantage.

Votes have been modified. f5 holds a narrow lead over b5.

i have a forum which is black best response to 1.e4

i vote 1...b5

1...f5

Dude, where's my vote? :<0

Updated. Kxd8 is good though, not bad.

True, it's sneaky and Carlsen lost to it.

1...f5, without a doubt.  

What is the King Walk Variation?

(I probably shouldn't be bothering to take this bait, but) White gets to play has a move in between there too.

After Nf6 White can play d4 and it does seem, like you said d5 is necessary for Black to get any play at all so d5 Bd3. White is still up a pawn, and now Black will have to play "around" the large hole in front of the backward pawn in the middle of the board, or play e6 making the gambit permanent... so no recapture. And ok Black isn't much worse in the center after that exchange and can hope to attack down the f-file. Playing chess "Without counting the pawns" might work a bit in Blitz, but Black can have this sort of thing from other openings without giving up a pawn to do it. 

Also after Nf3 White can get tricky with Be2, also just about every plan that works against the King's Gambit works better up a tempo against the Fred. In the KG White has a strong pawn on e4. Paraphrasing many others, in the Fred Black has no pawn on e5 and isn't likely to get one there any time soon. It's not a good move. It probably is the worst thing on the board in that position.

Houdini doesn't score either of them quite *that* good for White, though certainly the little differences in computer evulation on move 1 are meaningless whichever engine. I'll give that b5 is also a bad move, might be a losing move just like f5. I was mostly responding to your claim that Black can simply recapture the pawn with a good game which is very far from the truth even for White in the King's Gambit.