What is the worst first move for White? The UNBIASED thread, all trolls welcome

I promise not to block anyone, even Harryz if he ends up coming here. Can't promise I'll keep up with the votes, but I can at least let people discuss this without threatening them!

First place:

7: d4

Second:

2: h4

2. f3

1. Kxd1

1. f4

1. Playing Black

1. Ni1?!

1. Resigning

 1. axa8=Q

1. Kxd7

1. e4

1. P-KB3

Seems you people really hate 1. d4, eh?

I NOTE FOR 1.D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Sry... I meant to say...

I VOTE FOR 1.D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AINEC?

When

1.d4 is probably worst.  It is the coward's opening.  I am ashamed to have ever played it.

d4, it's just lame.  Objectively it's good, but realistically it signals apathy, boredom, and impotence.

wait wait but doesnt the daeth opining start with d4?

oops...

Can I take my vote back?

You can, but I might end up confusing myself and leaving the first vote still there. ;)

To be legit, any move except b4, g4, or f3 is okay for white since the worst that can happen is to play black

I vote 1.f4??!

I'm pretty sure Macer's the one who posted that one ;)

Here's a link:

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/vote-now-for-chesscom-troll-of-the-month---nov-2013

Be sure to look at the ballot, and they threads that the candidates have been nominated for before casting your vote.

I will go with, choosing to play someone for money, that you can't beat, even if they offer you white...

resigning. 

Yeah, Fischer-Spassky 1972 (game 2).

N-i1. Think about it.

Wouldn't it be 0? (or 2?)