acknowledgment

I will never understand players who do not acknowledge a simple well done or good game , a simple thank you would suffice.It's not as if there is little time to reply  after playing your opponent for days or weeks. Most players will congratulate or respond , I will continue to praise anyone who plays a great game .

Thanks for the response , I appreciate your comments 

Because coming face-to-face with the scum of the earth is not a pleasant experience.  Because if one imputes the thought process required to arrive at this decision not to respond, then one finds that these losers cannot spare the five seconds it would take to do the right thing because that is how little they care about any of us.  Because a rude response is rude, and a lack of any response goes way beyond rude.

...Because we have fragile egos that expect everyone to have the same ideas of what rude is as we do.

Good idea -- turn this around into something about my ego.  The best defense is a good offense?  We all love keeping an open mind, and balance in hearing all sides of an argument.  Do not let this blind you to the fact that 1+1 will always be 2, and not responding will always be rude, no matter what you or anybody else might say to the contrary.  And it is rude not because I say so; not because I have some special privilege to make this decision, but rather because it is a clear violation of the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Maybe you are right, and I will certainly allow for that possibility.  I cannot speak for everyone who would agree with me that it is at least potentially rude not to reply, but I can speak for myself.  Speaking for myself, I can say this.  The case you offer is a real one, but it does not explain away everything.  Several times it has happened that even messages are ignored.  I mean messages outside of a game, the kind that would trigger an alert.  And of course this phenomenon is not limited to chess; it happens "out there" too, and Seinfeld even made it respectable when he was talking about how annoying "friends" would call him and leave a message (this is before the Internet) and he would not call back and they would call again.  He's OK; they are the losers.  And so now we just come to expect that others will reply only when it is convenient or expedient for them to do so.  But let us not confuse popularity with acceptability.  This is offensive to many (not just to me).  Again, speaking for myself, I will respond to a message (which calls for a response) no matter who sends it; I do not have to like you to show that much courtesy.  My message may not be sespecially inviting to future ones; I may discourage future communication if I really don't like you.  But I will at least reply.  It is beyond me how anybody could not be entitled to that much.

There is no need for a long , tortuous explanation. All that's needed is common courtesy, which is , after all , the work of seconds. The point is: if this were not the internet, would you be thanking your opponent ? I think you would.

I happen to play a large portion of my games over my cell phone. I never even see the messages. Granted, I will respond to them when I see them. But it could be three or four days. And if a game ended days ago I may not even look at it again. I'm not trying to be rude, I just didn't see it.

Well, I also agree that it is more courteous to reply to others.. But then again, your opponent is entitled to keep their silence, should they so choose. I'm certain many people enjoy online chess because it allows them to concentrate on the game and retain their anonymity. Perhaps they also think their performance is lowered if they indulge in conversation, or simply do not wish to talk. And a person who says nothing is quite clearly obeying the golden rule; they're doing exactly what they would want done to themselves - leaving the other player alone. And they have all the rights to do so.

That being said, I do prefer a bit of politeness myself. But, a couple of times, after an exciting game ending in my loss, a simple comment like "aahahaha" can make the whole experience sour. I'd much rather take silence over rudeness anytime.

I agree with your comments , but I am not after a conversation during the game ( but would gladly chat with anyone if they so wish. ) It just seems ignorant to me, not to respond to a well done or thank you etc. I take on board that some people may not want to talk and that's fine but gg or ty takes two seconds.

Amusingly enough, you seem upset here too. All I'm saying is don't take this stuff personally. There are a lot of reasons why someone might not give you your pat on the back: there are a lot fo mobile users on this site as was already pointed out, they don't look at the chat because they are in a hurry, they are nervous about online chat in general (say a young kid who has taken warnings from parents), the person is just shy (maybe why he or she is playing online instead of over the board in the first place).

In all these cases, there is no violation of the "golden rule", because these people don't expect YOU to offer any customary greetings.

People are so ornery. Someone cuts you off in traffic? Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that it doesn't matter. Someone doesn't type "gg" in the chat box? Just relax. Don't think of them at all if you can't think of them as anything but the scum of the earth. Maybe YOU could overlook the percieved snub, as you'd like others to overlook any slips you might have made unintentionally or not.

Why do you get so worked up about this? Even if you somehow know that he/she is deliberately ignoring you, how unbearable can it be? You'll probably never encounter that person again -- he/she's just another stranger on the internet. Why not just move on to the next opponent?

I didn't mean to monopolize this forum, since I wasn't the one who started it.  But some good points were raised, and I would like to respond to them as best I can.  One said that he does not see the messages since he uses a cell phone.  To me, that is fine; I will not judge you.  I have at times failed to reply to e-mail messages because I never received them; they were lose in Cyberspace.  So what else could I do?  What else can you do?  Others said that this is not a violation of the Golden Rule, since they do not want you to chat with them, either.  And still others asked why not just move on.  I do just move on.  No retaliation, no mail bombs, no malicious rumors, ...  I just move on.  But when it comes up, I take my chance to say something, and that is what I am doing here.  Notice that I have not named any names.  As for the Golden Rule, I disagree.  Here is why.  These "jerks" (for lack of a better word) certainly care about somebody.  It just isn't you or me.  They are saying, in essence, this:

"If you are not on my A list, then I will not spare the two seconds it takes to bring a smile to your face.  Maybe your pet died.  Maybe you just got diagnosed with cancer.  Maybe your just lost a loved one.  Maybe you just lost your job.  But I don't care, because you are not cool enough for me to care about.  I am up here and you are down there.  In short, I am too cool to be nice to the little people.  But I still hope that the cool people will be nice to me, and I still get just upset as you do when they are not nice to me."

The philosopher Kant had a nice argument based on the original position, or a veil of ignorance.  Suppose that you do not know ahead of time if you are the cool one or the lame one, and you are asked to vote on whether cool people should take two seconds to be at least courteous to lame people.  How do you vote?  Now please note that everything I just wrote is from the perspective of the jerk; I do not necessarily have to agree that the jerk is cool, but certainly the jerk himself or herself thinks that he or she is cool.  And I have no problem with that.  Go ahead and idolize yourself.  Believe that you are better than I am based on gender, race, intelligence, age, state, country, anything you want.  Just show me (and others) a modicum of courtesy and you will have no problem with me.  Hopefully not with them, either.

You conceed that there are circumstances that make this behaviour (not replying) acceptable to you, but you have no way of determining when your opponent is in these circumstances and when he is deliberately ignoring you.

People are rude. Fine. I'm saying the problem is on your end too, if you feel the need to rant about how horrible these people are and wag your finger. The fact that this is becoming an ethical debate shows that you are taking the issue way too seriously. You have not moved on.

As amused as I am by how horrified a couple of you are by someone not typing "ty", I'm going to follow my own advice and move on from this discussion too.

GG, it was entertaining.

Apart from Vance you are all missing the point. It takes seconds to type gg or ty if you congratulate someone you have been playing a game of chess with for weeks . If we all took the option to ignore a polite comment we may as well play against a robot. This is a good website and I believe part of the reason for this is that most of you are decent polite people. Thanks to all who responded

This isn't anything but an ego trip.  Lots of things aren't responded to in life, I hardly think a response at the end of an on-line chess game is one to get bent out of shape about.

Did you read the orginal comment ? Bent out of shape is nowhere near the feeling ! 'Ego trip' because someone can not understand a simple response. How do you work that one out ? 

If your opponent does not deign to respond to you, take joy in the fact that you either beat them / or lost so spectacularly, they are rendered speechless!

 aggreed, I myself don't like antisocial games, but I understand this is internet chess, and some may not know english, so

ty