Bulldog Chess with Witch (HorribleTomato vs. CM thegreatauk)

Yeah but it's the closest you can get.

You're right, I hadn't noticed. That said, given the knight is already lost, perhaps white can abandon it in favour of using the extra tempo to advance the g-pawn.

I'm not sure if white can dodge the checks, but the pawn structure is fine. The pawns are racing, white already has the edge, so black can't waste any more tempi. There's no time to grab weak pawns. It's just a question of whether white can dodge the checks, which I'm unsure about.

Yes that is correct, The guard is basically useless in this position as I don't have the time to activate it. 

Yeah the guard is badly out of position and as such white can afford to give up the knight if it means he promotes faster.

White can save the knight after Qe5 with Qi1, but that is a really bad square for the queen and it's very probably drawing. After Qe5, Qi3+ followed by g5 is the most ambitious line I can find for white, just give up the knight and get that pawn moving. Black doesn't have time to get his pawn (or guard) moving, so he has to go for the perpetual check. I think if white's queen stays close, then he can dodge. The queen exchange is always going to work for white, since his pawn promotes first.

Not right now.  If I can beat Dobby, then perhaps.  And of course I've successfully dealt with the Tomato multiple times.

Glad you're not holding me to that John, I have too much going on right now.