Chess is mentally painful. Am I the only one?

I have tried and tried, and can't seem to stop this weird anguish I feel playing the game.  It's horrible at times.  I can't play at all against others any longer, only against the computer, and with lots of introspection, I've discovered a few things:

1. The stress of accidentally making a silly mistake simply takes my breath away.  Even when vs. a computer.

2. Waiting for an opponent's counter is painful for some reason.

3. And yet somehow, I've always loved the game itself.  Just not enduring what I have to to actually get through a game.

I suspect that there's no hope for me regarding any of this.  Does chess do anything similar to anyone else here?

I think you might need to talk this over with a trained counselor. I don't think most people here experience much mental pain and anguish when playing.

It's a game played for fun. There is no reason for anguish. To be sure, losing can make you feel badly, but unless there are consequences to a loss, they don't linger.

You can see the pain Magnus Carlsen goes through when he loses. I am not sure but I think it comes because he has such high expectations for himself.

You are just beginning.  There is no reason for you to carry such a burden.

One of the greatest individuals to ever play the game, Garry Kasparov, stated that "Chess is mental torture." He fought it out against Deep Blue! Certainly not your run of the mill chess application. Exercising the body is at times painful, often exhausting, and regularly rewarding.

At the elite level of competitive play stress and anxiety OTB or otherwise is understandable given what is at stake (monetary reward, sponsorship, qualifying etc.) Intense emotions are often linked with attaining important personal goals. For the realization of our goals to be postponed and/or hindered is frustrating and upsetting.

In some sense I am just beginning; I've never had formalized training.  However, I'm middle-aged and have been playing [terribly] off and on since 5 or so, and this has always been happening.

There are many parallels to this that similarly ring true.  All the strength training and software engineering I've done in my life both yield rewards and growth for strenuous effort, no matter the form.

I suspect that the body may be buried somewhere in how mentally painful it is for me to keep track of varying depths of recursion.  Note: In other venues, I can do it and do it well (often a requirement of software engineering), but never without spiking stress in chess for some reason.  For each possible move, I have to think of a counter (and store it mentally) and descend from there to other possible counters, and this endlessly splitting tree is uncomfortable.

Further, there's something odd presenting a kind of lose/lose scenario:

1. If I lose, I'll feel the discomfort of losing.

2. If I win, there's no victory to be felt: it only happened because either I was a better player, or the other screwed up.  Either eventualities yield no joy to realize.

But this is the weird part to me: I don't feel this with any other game.

How long have you been playing chess and how dedicated to improvement? If you haven't been playing much (even if you knew how to play for years but never took it that seriously), then it is normal to feel anxious. Perhaps not in the exact extend you describe, but nervousness and worry is often because of the unknown. As one plays more chess (and learns to relax), then it become easier to deal with these lingering thoughts. Over the board games (especially tournaments) is another level of anxiety in itself, but with some time and practice - everyone eventually learns to relax more and those subtle thoughts will go away almost entirely. 

I get a little gripped when I first start a game but once the first few moves are played I relax.  Unfortunately when I worry about my rating,then anxiety that is out of proportion creeps in and I get some of the feelings you describe.  Just have FUN!  Everyone is playing to enjoy the game.  You should too! 

Could be eye strain focusing too much on the screen...Have your eyes checked...What I have found helpful is low dosage of thc which is found in marijuana...

Chess is just a fun game. Stay humble (focus on improving/enjoying your game -- not your ego boosts of win/lose). Go for walks, get out more, spend time with your family (put chess in it's place), stop playing blitz, play 1 day/move. Join your countries team, chat with them, analyse games. Watch fun clips/memes between games.

It's not rocket science.

It's the other way around for me. If I win, yay! If I lose, well, it's just a game.

I quit playing OTB when I was a teenager because I found it far, far too stressful. I was county champion and board one, represented England at U12 level etc, but the expectation was such that I grew to hate the game. A couple of years ago I got back into it aged nearly 40, and absolutely love playing for pleasure. I'm mulling over whether to enter some OTB tournaments again, but I suspect I'd find it stressful rather than fun, and that I'd beat myself up about any blunders even worse than I do when I mess up in an online game. 

I agree...Care for a joint?

Try over the board chess

Its exercising the mind -___-

And the complete opposite of being lazy. You have to put in a lot of hours a week to do well and build up your rating. Not to mention chess also develops many real-life skills, pattern recognition, decision-making, and the ability to sit in a chair, among others. Not to mention chess is just fun  Some food for thought ✌️

Its not just the skills you gain from chess, but also the experiences. At the world youth chess championships this year, I met so many awesome people who shared a common interest with me, that being chess. It was so much fun, and that wouldn't have been possible without chess. Skipping school was an added bonus 😋

lol 

The last joint I was in catered to a pretty rough crowd  !

You are too frustrated. You need to start again & look at the game in a different way. I recommend a little drop of meditation once a day. 

You misunderstand the reason for the comparison to exercising the body. The point is that although exercising the body is at times painful, trying, and difficult there are plenty of fruits to be reaped for one's hard work in this way (e.g. release of endorphins (runner's high), reduced anxiety, trim and lean figure etc.) just like although chess being mentally and physically exhausting there are rewards in pursuing it.

Which brings me to my next point. You state "Sitting at a chess board all day isn't teaching you anything that applies to the real world." You couldn't be farther from the truth. In fact, an entire book has been written on just the very subject of the real world application of principles that chess teaches by arguably one of the greatest minds in history Benjamin Franklin. The book is entitled "The Morals of Chess". In this essay Franklin describes the three primary traits that can be cultivated by playing chess namely foresight, circumspection, and caution. To say that these skills are not relevant in the real world is to ignore the role that all of these traits play in the daily routine of those in the medical field, public sector, and financial industry to name a few.

No one is to say one wouldn't have time for chess even if they are successful, it is simply a matter of taste and priority. If one enjoys the game then one will make time for the game. I haven't "made up" any reasons I have only provided factual basis for my position. Also, at no point did I say that the sole point of chess is to "get better at the rest of life". There does happen to be additional benefits to playing the game besides for sheer enjoyment however. Chess provides a conduit for sharpening these skills.

I agree if Franklin were alive today he probably wouldn't be playing at a Senior Center, but I suspect he would be playing in his study at his home in London. That same great mind decided to write a book on the subject. He clearly valued it.

What more could anyone ask for from a hobby?!