Invent the new worst/most useless chess piece ever!

The Xiangqi Pieces. They move only to points between squares (move and capture as normal Xiangqi pieces). The Xiangqi King. When captured the opponent's normal King and Xiangqi King are replaced (Xiangqi king and normal king after that can't move)

The Kong, it eats the eaten pieces that are out of the chess board. If you don't feed it ingame for more than 15 min it will start to bite your pawns that are on the board

The horn. There are 4 horns, 2 black and 2 white. They start in the middle 4 squares. They cannot move, and the only piece that can capture it is the king

The Bomb.

There are 1 bomb on each side. They start on a6 for black and h3 for white. They can only once and when they move side who moves it has to take off his / her queen. When a piece captures it , the side that captured it loses. If a pawn captures it , the side that captures it has to lower his / her time to 1 min. If the time control is 1 min , then the side that captured the bomb will lower his / her time control to 10 sec.

The Lawn. Promotes to jungle if you forget to mow it.

can move anywhere and must capture 1 piece of yours every 10 moves and 5 opponent pieces every 10 moves. 

Please Stop already

The Scared Destroyer. When the game starts it starts knocking over all other pieces and then calls it a draw

I am back  

The Repeater: This piece moves one square and moves back to the original square it was on. So it stays in one place for the entire game.

The Stone - This piece does not do more than a big rock can do. It stays on one square without moving in the entire game.

if you find good ideas you can also put them in  CREATE THE BEST/WORST CHESS PIECES

(Worst) - The peasant  

Exchange - 0.5 

Moves 6-9 squares diagonally, unless blocked by any piece, can't capture anything except for a fez, pawn, or peasant  

(Worst) The Horse 

Exchange - 0.5 

Can do 2 or 3 knight moves unless blocked at all by any piece  

(Absolute Worst)   aaaaa 

the aaaaa can't move. it can't be captured so it basically blocks your path

The J1407b: the other pieces get distracted by this exoplanet’s magnificent rings.

The expanding chess board. After every move, the board becomes 10 squares bigger in each direction and all pieces move away from the center by a proportional distance.

The chicken: Watches the game until the endgame. Then it goes and teleports to other chess boards on Earth saying spoilers for all the big upcoming movies.

The LIMITER: It keeps track of every square where each piece has moved and will not let it move to that square a second time in the same game. It always occupies the last square where the last piece moved from , cannot be taken or have another piece land on that square till it moves on to another square.