Invent the new worst/most useless chess piece ever!

Emoji of chesskid pawn- :chesskid

The midknight: a knight that moves one square more than a regular knight.

The goodknight: prevents mosquitoes coming to the pieces

The ☆. Moves like ☆.  :tup good for stargazing and notifies you about eclipses instead of moving. Never gets captured. Instead makes plans for next year's space events and calendars.

"The Doubleknight : Double Knitted! Good for in cushioning winter!" so says the Doubleknight.

The checkers king: a flat piece if a piece is on it, he will catapult it IN YA FACE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH!!! Seriously, Hah.

The B-A-N-D: Captures any newly invented pieces. The Band includes

The bishop, astronaut, nuclei- pawn and Dynamite

They capture all the pieces that everyone invented in this post except me.

The entitled pawn. One of your pawns disobeys and decides not to move. So It doesnt move except when its captured, only then It moves.. out of the board. But with the condition to stay alive 2 turns more on the board just watching (and ofc sharing the square with the capturer piece)

The virus pawn. It has to be your last standing pawn. If you promote this pawn you will get up to 8 pawns at the starting squares. The amount of pawns you get decreases by one for every square forward you decide to start from. For example you can get 8 PAWNS on the inicial squares or also 3 on the promoting edge. If you PROMOTE a PROMOTED PAWN you'll get more PAWNS as close as possible to the starting point. New PROMOTED PAWNS can bring life to MORE PAWNS until theres no space on the board, in which case, you obtain a crushing victory by pawn infestation

The nimble Knight. It can jump one square out of the board as if the board was 10x10(one extra exterior imaginary layer)and go back into the standard 8x8, with the only condition that It can't stay for more than 1 turn in the imaginary layer(if It does - It dissapears forever)

Hmmmm the last 2 could actually be useful... I kinda missed the point

The chess patrol police. Moves in a closed circle e4-e5-d5-d4-e4(...). Supposed to 'deter' ilegal moves. The piece looks old and has a cigarrette and a tattoo on it

The dashing pawn. Moves 2 steps when moved; can break pieces with its dash. When it reaches the end of the board it breaks the bounds and floats. Can't be moved backwards even when setting up.

The-nutricionist. Appears in a free adjacent square when the Queen eats more than 2 pieces, to save her from obesity and unables its ability to eat pieces for a random number of turns.

The Traitor. One of your pieces will betray you in a key moment of the game. The betrayal is random in a scale( please watch the Betrayal Scale diagram 1-7).

Scale of betrayal:

1.lowkey - refuses to move so you lose one turn

2.criminal - moves to an inconvenient square obstructing another piece

3.murderer - eats one of your pieces

4.mercenary - changes color(for ever)

5.spy - when you capture an enemy piece with it you realize on the next turn that the captured piece is back on the board and repositioned in a better square.

6.terrorist - acts like a suicide bomber blowing up all the pieces in the adjacent squares also including itself.

7.Assassin - teleports to a square , checkmates your king(*only if checkmating conditions are met positionally to do It)

Not exactly a piece, but rugby chess would be - well - what would be the point?

The noob, it dont know how to move.