Wow! So when they say you're moving slower than molasses they're being sarcastic. They want you to slow down like a race horse.
Unbelievable
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Lol, maybe so!
Has anyone ever been told that they were moving slower than molasses in January? Well, I certainly have been. It turns out that if there is enough of a viscous liquid like molasses (try 2.3 million gallons), the molasses can flow at speeds in excess of 35 miles per hour, even in January! The city of Boston found this out the hard way in 1919: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Molasses_Disaster
Who would have known?