Why Chess.com is not a safe place for women

I would rather not disclose that ... Perhaps the FBI can help you.

Still figuring out how to do it online, any ideas?

Ive grenaded the annoying ones online before

Why is there only one video on the channel, why are the hosts never named, why do they sound like AI, and why can I find no other episodes of "The Deep Dive" anywhere online?

The issues "discussed" are serious, and if this were real, I would be in complete sympathy with the victim. This kind of abuse does happen. But is this a real case and did chess.com truly ignore them?

Let's get an official chess.com response to this video.

One that's ai generated 😑

It is prob. fake, I never watched it, you don't need to complain, just block game chat, and messages. I didn't waste my time on it

> Let's get an official chess.com response to this video

I have doubts

Wonder if we'll next get an AI-generated video of two AI players discussing the problem of online cheating and bots?

Companies usually don't like stooping down to 4 year olds maturity.

What's the worst thing that can happen

It's a shame to find out this sort of thing happens. Since one of the abusers kept making new accounts to keep contacting the same person, it might be a good idea to limit new accounts. That should help at least a little. Perhaps a Reputation Score would help, then users can vary what score is a minimum to contact them. Of course, the score selected can never be higher than their own.

uh, why are there criminals in this tho

I'm being sarcastic, I haven't shot anyone, I am just saying in a dramatic way it could be worse.

> it might be a good idea to limit new accounts

> Perhaps a Reputation Score would help

Chess.com wont do that. Too complicated with relatively small positive outcome for a chess website

That's not been my experience. For example,

https://www.chess.com/blog/AnastasiaStyles/compliments-vs-creepiness-vs-sexual-harassment

...with just a tiny sample of messages I regularly receive.

That said, while my own profile picture has always been as modest as my current one, I do believe that everyone should be able to present themselves as they wish within the bounds of the site's rules around same, without being harassed about it.

It's easy to assume that the girl in the bikini or the guy showing off his abs/chest are doing so because they want to attract s/exual attention, but what if it's just an important part of who they are? There are people for whom the gym is half their life. There are people who spend as much time on the beach as possible. There's no reason they shouldn't be able to represent themselves that way if they want.

And even if they do want s/exual attention, which at the end of the day is not a c/rime, then there is still a difference between expressing s/exual attention respectfully, and s/exually harassing someone (the former case being demonstrated by those who start very mild and ask whether it's ok before each and any escalation, and stop upon meeting a "no").

Ultimately, blaming the profile picture (and/or, directly blaming the woman behind it) comes down to the same faulty logic that we see in r/aрe apologetics, i.e. "she was asking for it", when in reality, as the slogan goes, "it's a dress, not a yes".

Nor is it Chess.com staff who are to blame. The site has a policy against s/exual harassment, and in my experience, they do their reasonable best to enforce that policy. I regularly report people for s/exual harassment, and I regularly see such accounts closed. Not always; it's far from perfect; perhaps Chess.com has a higher threshold for considering something s/exual harassment than I do. But, the point is, they are taking action, regularly.

Shockingly, the people to blame for s/exual harassment are, in fact, the people who are doing s/exual harassment.

The fix for this, I think, is societal, and involves creating a culture where s/exual harassment is a) considered firmly the responsibility of the person doing it (no victim-blaming), and b) considered unequivocally bad (no dismissals of it as being a fine thing to do).

PS: One thing Chess.com does deserve flak for, however, is this kind of thing: I had to censor many words in this post, since while s/exual harassment often goes under the radar, talking about it triggers the automatic mute-threatener, per:

"It sucks that people harass me when I go out"
"Don't go out of the house then"

Do you see the problem? The answer to "this group of people are behaving badly towards others" is not "this other group of people who aren't doing that should have to curtail their own activity instead".

In my case, I'm a point of contact for a bunch of clubs, and it's important that people be able to contact me.

And even if that weren't the case, Chess.com is in large part a social site, and there's no reason we shouldn't be able to enjoy it as such like anyone else. Speaking for myself, I've met some wonderful people here over the years, people who've become important in my life, and I wouldn't have met them if I had game chat and messages off.

Just accept the fact that... umm... "special players"... yes, lets call them this way... do exist here ("special people" are inevitable in any large community) and be ready to meet them with the positive attitude

I enjoyed reading the blog post. Some of those messages you were sent are crazy! Who sends someone those kinds of things and thinks it's normal haha?

I didn’t enjoy reading it. It was illuminating, but the fact that you had to explain the difference between saying someone looks pretty and sending them Johnson pics, or the fact that people send Johnsons at all, makes my already dwindling hope in humanity fade even more.

Could that mean YOURE harrasing women hmm...