The faster the time control the dumber the chat.
Everyone appears to be an arrogant @**#ole.
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Dec 23, 2021
0
#23
EclecticHeretic wrote:
Seriously; anytime anyone chats at all it is to tell me how much better and faster I could have won or how dumb I am for losing. Is this all the chess community is? Because I don't need this. Great game--terrible people has been my only impression thus far.
here's a funny story: once I started a game where I was black, and this dude said he wasn't gunna play since he wasn't black. then he proceeded to abandon the game and call me a cheater
just ignore people like them and if you want, then turn the chat off each time you plan a game
Everyone's nice in daily chess because if you type a bad comment in daily you have to stare at your comment for months whilst in live it's like sticking your fingers up as you drive by in a car.
Dec 23, 2021
0
#25
I don't think anyone I don't know has spoken to me in a game apart from a GG or 'Hi' in over 5 years.
Maybe this is tied to the type of game you play? Daily, over half my games I expect there is no common language anyway.
The slower the time controls, the better the behavior in my experience.
There is also a 'thing' where fast play and trash talk go together, which started over the board in certain horrible places and has migrated online over the decades.
sub 1000 has a ton of mouthy weirdos
just block and play
just block and play
eventually your opponents first moves might irk you more than any chat did
llama47 wrote:
Hope this doesn't come across as too annoying but...
I think most of the toxic people are very low rated (around beginners), or very high rated (grandmasters). Chess is a pretty humbling game for those of us who stick with it. You work and improve over years only to realize you're still pretty bad, and so it's not so hard to show some respect to others who are in your position. People like me play because we love the game, not because we're great at it or have big egos.
...
... unless you improve to the point of GM level, and deal with the children and egos that exist there (yes some children are GM level).
That's my take on it, FWIW.
There are some egotistical GMs but (at least in the US) the majority of the GMs make more money teaching than playing and most of the students are kids, so they are usually quite cordial to people. As a TD (arbiter) they might be expected to be more cordial to me than the average person but third parties have confirmed that they remain cordial to pretty much anyone.
You learn to put up with the egotistical ones and thank your lucky stars that they are in a minority. Personally I see a higher percentage of egotistical NMs and CMs than GMs (maybe since they do not make their livings playing or teaching chess there is less of a downside in being condescending to lower-rated players).
Just use Focus mode. You can then concentrate on your chess without any silly distractions.
Dec 23, 2021
0
#30
I have my chat turned off so I don’t run into people like that. The internet is full of jerks
Dec 23, 2021
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#31
jetoba wrote:
llama47 wrote:
Hope this doesn't come across as too annoying but...
I think most of the toxic people are very low rated (around beginners), or very high rated (grandmasters). Chess is a pretty humbling game for those of us who stick with it. You work and improve over years only to realize you're still pretty bad, and so it's not so hard to show some respect to others who are in your position. People like me play because we love the game, not because we're great at it or have big egos.
...
... unless you improve to the point of GM level, and deal with the children and egos that exist there (yes some children are GM level).
That's my take on it, FWIW.
There are some egotistical GMs but (at least in the US) the majority of the GMs make more money teaching than playing and most of the students are kids, so they are usually quite cordial to people. As a TD (arbiter) they might be expected to be more cordial to me than the average person but third parties have confirmed that they remain cordial to pretty much anyone.
You learn to put up with the egotistical ones and thank your lucky stars that they are in a minority. Personally I see a higher percentage of egotistical NMs and CMs than GMs (maybe since they do not make their livings playing or teaching chess there is less of a downside in being condescending to lower-rated players).
Yeah, that sounds about right... and by the way, I definitely don't mean to be very good at chess means a person is screwed up socially or mentally or something. Most GMs are just normal people who happen to be good at chess. If you met them at the grocery store checkout line you'd never know anything was different about them... and so like all humans, some are jerks, and some are good people.
Still, coaching and daily interactions aside, I think the more difficult personalities during gameplay are more common at the extremes (young people, and very high or low ratings).
Dec 23, 2021
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#33
rychessmaster1 wrote:
Why is this in the chess for beginners section
Because it goes with 95+% of things in the forums. Misguided and in the wrong place.
Dec 23, 2021
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#34
There are plenty of nice chess members - many of which are even willing to review the game afterwards with you simply because they want to learn as much as you do 
Of course, finding such chess players doesn't always happen overnight - but these few gems do exist
Dec 23, 2021
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#35
I have played at chesscom since I started playing chess (about 10 years ago) and I started with a rating of 1000 on blitz, so I have quite a bit of experience playing with a wide range of players and I can tell you one thing: in all levels there are idiots, because the internet is like that. People dare to say mean things or annoy when they are behind a screen. But don't worry, from time to time you run into very friendly players with high sportsmanship.
Dec 23, 2021
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#36
llama47 wrote:
Yeah man, sorry your experience has been so bad.
Some days you run into a lot of jerks, some days none at all. Maybe it's because of the holidays stressing people out, or you were playing kids. It's hard to know.
I have a few questions for your second line:
How can the holidays stress people out? and What's so bad about playing kids? I mean, most aren't jerks at all (Unless they are cyberbullies)
Dec 23, 2021
0
#37
warrior-vik wrote:
llama47 wrote:
Yeah man, sorry your experience has been so bad.
Some days you run into a lot of jerks, some days none at all. Maybe it's because of the holidays stressing people out, or you were playing kids. It's hard to know.
I have a few questions for your second line:
How can the holidays stress people out? and What's so bad about playing kids? I mean, most aren't jerks at all (Unless they are cyberbullies)
In the US the traditional way to celebrate Christmas involves giving gifts. If someone doesn't have much money, then they might feel bad. For example they might see their child is sad because the parent can't afford to buy ____, and that makes the parent feel bad.
It's also tradition to visit your family. This is stressful for people who can't visit their family, or who don't like their family, or who don't have families to visit... and in general a holiday is supposed to be a time of happiness, so there's some shame associated with feeling bad. So not only is there more stress in general, but people can feel bad about not being happy.
Dec 23, 2021
0
#38
llama47 wrote:
warrior-vik wrote:
llama47 wrote:
Yeah man, sorry your experience has been so bad.
Some days you run into a lot of jerks, some days none at all. Maybe it's because of the holidays stressing people out, or you were playing kids. It's hard to know.
I have a few questions for your second line:
How can the holidays stress people out? and What's so bad about playing kids? I mean, most aren't jerks at all (Unless they are cyberbullies)
In the US the traditional way to celebrate Christmas involves giving gifts. If someone doesn't have much money, then they might feel bad. For example they might see their child is sad because the parent can't afford to buy ____, and that makes the parent feel bad.
It's also tradition to visit your family. This is stressful for people who can't visit their family, or who don't like their family, or who don't have families to visit... and in general a holiday is supposed to be a time of happiness, so there's some shame associated with feeling bad. So not only is there more stress in general, but people can feel bad about not being happy.
So that's what you meant
Okay okay, I didn't consider that actually
Dec 23, 2021
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#39
EclecticHeretic wrote:
"Everyone appears to be an arrogant @**#ole."
Well.. at your level, I wouldn't say that. Besides, why getting good at chess if not for patronizing over beginners? that was My motivation. [am I supposed to say it out loud? not sure, I need to ask the 'Angels Guild' again.. well anyways..] You may find it hard to believe, but I was once a beginner too, nowadays I keep asking myself "why am I so good". look how I beat a Fide Master:
https://www.chess.com/forum/view/game-showcase/i-won-a-game-against-a-fide-master
And I like... CRUSHED him. you know.. so, pretty good ha? Wait, there's more, one time I... [phone call, sorry]
Dec 23, 2021
0
#40
I turned chat off and always decline any invitations to chat. It's always just people wanting to trash talk. One even resorted to using a snooze emoji because they evidently felt I wasn't making quick enough moves.
My advice is just to turn chat off. It's the only sensible thing to do. I've never had a nice convo with anyone on here.
Echoing much of hat has been said. I play only daily games and have never had a rude comment. When i did play a few faster games, i got maybe two idiots but that’s all. All to say, there are far more good people with good sportsmanship than not. You can mute if you wish, i haven’t felt the need to do so. Stay with it!