למתחילים

I hate this [removed -- MS] game so much. I've been playing for two years, I KNOW I can play better than this, but I'm getting smoked by 1100's. I've been playing 8+ hours every [removed] day trying to get my stupid ELO back but I'm just losing game after game. How is it so hard to beat pure beginners? If these guys at 1100 know how to play 80%+ games and know how to do 3-4 move tactics and checkmates, then how will I stand any chance in hell to make it to 1500.

Do I have a learning disability? Am I really stupid? Why can't I just get better? Why can't I reach like 1200 at the very least? I don't get it. I'm wasting my entire day feeling angry and depressed chasing my elo back and ending on a loss and it's ruining my entire life. "It's a board game, relax" - every body who says this is gifted and 1500+. They don't understand how frustrating it is to be this bad at chess and not be able to get better.
It's impossible how am I supposed to get better if no matter how hard I try there are literal beginners crushing me? It's the worst feeling in the world! It makes me feel literally brain damaged. Yesterday I lost like 15 games in a row and I broke down crying. You may think this is an overreaction but it's not at all. Imagine if they gave you a soccer ball and told you to stand a few feet away from the goal and just shoot and score. And you tried like 100 times and couldn't get the ball in more than a couple of times. How much of a d...