Shattered Confidence

Recently I lost a spate of games that have left me questioning my abilities in chess. I won't settle for anything less than 2000 rapid as an end goal for my chess journey. That, for me, is the ultimate. I'm not an exceptionally intelligent man. Chess entails acquiring many abilities some of which have always been personal weakness in my life. I'm just concerned that my natural weaknesses will hinder any effort I put into this no matter how repetitious or determined I go at it. I don't believe ANYONE and EVERYONE is capable of hitting that mark, but I was confident enough in my mind that it was an achievable goal for myself. Now I'm just not sure. If I'm stuck in this rating range then there is something VERY BASIC that I am just not understanding. Or many VERY BASIC things. And I just feel so stupid. Some of those losses were just outright pathetic on my part. No two ways about it. 

Admittedly, I was playing through some grief those couple of nights as a friend of mine passed suddenly less than a week ago now. Probably should have taken some time to clear my head. I guess I learned my lesson there. 

But to drop from 1367 to 1257 has left me feeling quite humiliated to be honest and it has created this trepidation about playing anyone again. Either way, I believe a break is necessary for me to process the loss of my good friend and hopefully get my head straight at some point. Because right now, I'm not sure when I'll play again. 

I hope the rest of you have achieved your goals and if not, I wish you all the best in your climb to reach those milestones. 

Many good vibes to you all. 🙏

Hey,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend -- I can only imagine what it's like for you right now. You are a warm and thoughtful person, and I'd like to send you my best wishes right now as you process through this grief. It is definitely a process.

Take as long as you need -- many people including me have found that to be very beneficial for a variety of circumstances, certainly many less heavy to carry than yours.

Dropping in rating when things are difficult is more than normal. It doesn't at all invalidate your progress or mean that you have gotten worse at all. I won't be surprised at all if you come back at 1400, especially since I saw a very nice game you played not too long ago against a 1400 rated player. No, it doesn't at all mean that there are very basic things that you aren't understanding. But yeah, it definitely does make sense to take some time to step aside for now; just know it isn't a reflection of your ability.

Thank you for sharing part of your experience with us, and again, my best wishes to you.

We all struggle at times. I am yet to reach that 1200 rapid milestone, which I have been frustratingly close to a couple times. I am 11 points away from the milestone right now and have had a pretty decent streak going (only wins and draws for a half dozen or so of my last blitz/rapid games) so I hope I will finally reach that milestone this time around.

Now progress at chess will not be linear. There will be ups and downs. There is a thing called tilt also, which I am very familiar with, because I have also played some poker. And then there is luck. Sometimes you just happen to face some opponents who are at their strongest that day and you are not. Sometimes it goes the other way around.

But your progress looks very good to me overall. You should not worry about the recent drop too much.

And remember, almost everyone at the 1200 rating is also trying very hard to beat you. They did not just pick up chess. They have also put in the effort required to get there and are trying to become better. Sometimes, when I get a good winning streak going, I get a little overconfident and forget this, and that is when I start losing. It's like I think I all of a sudden improved so much that I could now easily beat the player I was a couple days back, which is of course not true at all. Never underestimate your opponent (this is more of a mental note to self).

Good luck.

Do not be discouraged. I had a break from playing, came back and dropped from 1364 to 1260 in the space of a week. Then won 12 consecutive games and back up to 1354. Anything can happen, just enjoy playing and don't get hung up on the numbers. You're still better than 90% of all players which makes you pretty good in my book.

@1

"I won't settle for anything less than 2000 rapid" ++ A reasonable goal.

"I'm not an exceptionally intelligent man" ++ No need to.

"I don't believe ANYONE and EVERYONE is capable of hitting that mark" ++ All can.

"there is something VERY BASIC that I am just not understanding"
++ 'He evidently has an extraordinary good memory, for he always makes the same mistakes'
- Steinitz

"Some of those losses were just outright pathetic"
++ Always check your intended move is no blunder before you play it.
No intelligence is required, only mental discipline.

Being good at chess requires work, not intelligence.

What are you doing to improve?

Playing a lot does not count like a good reply.

"I don't believe ANYONE and EVERYONE is capable of hitting that mark" ++ All can.

I'd have to disagree. I could study chess 8 hours a day for the rest of my life and never get anywhere near 2000. Don't have the natural talent. I don't believe that you can hit that level by sheer hard work. 

I'll never run a 4 minute mile either and no amount of training will get me there.

My condolences on your loss. Take a few days off to enjoy Christmas and pause and reflect. Do a few puzzles and read a book. Then start playing again.

The key to improvement is enjoying the game and setting realistic goals, so pressuring yourself to quickly reach 2000 will not help. What will help is to find a sparring partner who will play slow games with you and do post-mortems after your sparring games.

The ChessDojo program is a way to have that setup made easier for you, but is it not required, as all of the elements of the program could be adopted without paying anyone a penny if you prefer. But if you are willing to pay money to get better, consider either joining the program or hiring a chess coach.

@8

"I could study chess 8 hours a day for the rest of my life and never get anywhere near 2000."
++ That is not true. You should only study the right way.
'Without going into any further calculations, I can assert with a high degree of certainty that nowadays we achieve only a fraction of what we are capable of achieving.' - Lasker

"Don't have the natural talent." ++ 'I have only one talent: a talent for hard work'- Kasparov

"I don't believe that you can hit that level by sheer hard work." ++ Yes, you can.

"I'll never run a 4 minute mile" ++ That is different. The human brain is more universal than the human skeleton, muscles, lungs etc.

If you need a break, then by all means take one. Chess as a long-term journey can be a mental and emotional marathon, so by all means take breaks to refresh yourself. 

As someone who has passed 2000 on chess.com, I can tell you that your journey will include MANY rating fluctuations...and more often than not, they will feel like massive rating drops. This is part of the process. 1360s down to 1250s in rating can be tough to handle, but I also can't say this variance ever goes away...it doesn't. Anyone serious about long-term chess improvement will naturally encounter many rating drops like this. I recommend reading my chess.com blog post of when I dropped a lot of rating. I recommend this: not because I wrote it, but because I think this read can help you at this time.

https://www.chess.com/blog/KeSetoKaiba/dropped-more-chess-rating 

"++ That is not true. You should only study the right way."

What is the right way please and thank you?

The right way is just like playing a game... you need a plan, then stick to it, then change it as necessary. 

Don't look at the negative side. You are a solid 1200/1300  player that will get there. I would love to be at yoru level. (Yes I know I need to work harder...)

We started our journeys at roughly  the same time. I am flirting with 1000 and only then because I an capitalizing on blunders. Make sure you enjoy it.

how da hell people write this much in 3 minutes

1. Studying analysed master games will help you a lot finding good plans and spotting positions which can be resolved by tactical means.

2.Studying endgames will help you do concrete and precise calculation, and capitalizing on a material advantage (or defending with material disadvantage).

3. Studying all your games (blitz and bullet fun stuff is excluded) will halp you finding your mistakes, and learning how to avoid them in the future.

4. Mastering pawn structures will help you associate each one with certain strategical plans, and common tactics which are typical of them.

5. Studying opening traps will help you get some points without any effort, as well as aborting many games where the opponent did not fall for the trap, because you are too lazy to play real chess.

6.Studying openings and memorizing lines will help you to be a good parrot, although probably a worse player.

The list could go on and on, but anyway... save 5) and 6) for MUCH later, unless your chess ideal is becoming a good parrot, that is.

Honestly, I still see OP as a solidly 1300+ player. I looked at his rating graph and it is solid and constant progress with being over 1300 for a while, suggesting that he has genuinely increased his chess understanding to play at a higher level. The 1257 is clearly an anomaly.

In my experience, those lows in rating when life hits you just don't mean that much in terms of your level. I don't play much rated rapid on my account, but I do play on my alt. For the sake of keeping my alt relatively private I won't be too specific on the details, but recently I had a bad tilt streak, but then quickly reverted to beating players rated a full 200 points higher -- and have been maintaining that level in rapids, 40 games later. That has happened to me three different times now, twice in rapid and once in blitz. I guess what I'm saying is that un-representative lows can and do happen, even on top of normal variance.

@pfren

Normally, I might argue your point of intelligence not being a necessity, but I have a lot of respect for your input. I have a coach, I analyze my games, I do puzzles daily. Recently I've decided to switch my approach to analyzing games so that I'm analyzing lost games IMMEDIATELY after the game ends and taking notes on the entire game. I usually try to only play a few games at a time. Recently, after the death of a friend my impulsive nature got the better of me and I played a million games. Stupid. 🙄

I'm doing what I can, but I know I need to do more. Full time job, two year old kid. 😅 Finding the time isn't too difficult, it's not being exhausted when that time comes. Oh well. I'm not giving up. 

Thanks again for your input. It's greatly appreciated. 

1. Read the right chess books.

2. Only play 5 games a day. Analyze them.

3. Stop giving a s*** about your “rating”. Don’t even give that number any thought at all, that type of thinking is distracting you from what allows you to play your best.

Didn't BigFoxy90 literally just say he plays a few games at a time and analyzes them, one post before you?

@Civilian366

Any suggestions as far as the "right" books?