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1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

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Iskander1234567
9053. Your opponent can read your mind because he knows you're trying to checkmate him.
DogMallow

9054: You "train" in Chess by drawing a king.

HelenaKosina
9055: You used Stockfish against Martin and still lost, horribly.

9056: When your pawns reach the 8th rank, you take them off the board.

9057: You write down moves during a bullet game
monkey-armory

9078

You try to download an engine to cheat but end up downloading a virus.

9079

You paint pieces that you have captured and then covertly put them back on the board but you accidentally used lead paint and you die before the game ends.

GalaxyGirl253
modee1 wrote:

1. You celebrate for a day after getting your rating over 500

2. It takes you ten minutes to solve a mate in one puzzle

3. You try to move your bishop on your first turn

4.You move your king on the second

5. You have to ask your opponent what just happened when he king-side-castles

6. You stay at the board five minutes after the game thinking "I know this isn't checkmate"

7. You end up with two bishops on black

8. You cheer really loudly for yourself when you win a game

9. The pawn is your favorite piece because it can become anything once its promoted

10. You don't know what promoted means

2012!!????

GalaxyGirl253

ITS BEEN 12 FREAKING YRS

monkey-armory
GalaxyGirl253 wrote:

ITS BEEN 12 FREAKING YRS

We are nearly done.

ChakaYo1
My tummy is all squishy from tapeworm phone Nixon
LakennkeeperWey
You say “hey I’m gonna play some chess” and the chess pieces explode because they don’t want you to play.
idunnobro813

9080: You resign a winning mate in one position

meYournext
9081: You get beaten by Reg. Martin
Atisbo

You do a game review and your blunders are more numerous than the grains of sand on Bondi Beach...

dragonchessgaming746149

9083. Youre me

Optimusgurujr

This is almost 10k signs. 9084; You are in a horrible League. 9085; You joined Chess.com a week ago.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Atisbo

You say “hey I’m gonna play some chess” and the chess pieces explode because they don’t want you to play.

Is that like this youth on Star Trek who loses at futuristic chess to Spock and then melts the chess pieces? (He's meant to be a jerk but I identify with his chess frustration.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEnxVwppE9M

Optimusgurujr

What's that link?

Spaces Might Be Here Because Bug

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
21ThingsForChess

9086: You have dancing polish cow for a pfp

Atisbo

A Youtube entitled "Star Trek on Chess".

IAMSAMUEL10

9086. Your opponent wants to scholar's mate you and he tells you how to stop it and a minute later you're saying how did he checkmate me

IAMSAMUEL10

9088 When your opponent blunders his queen on purpose to give you advantage because he's 20 points ahead and instead you spend the rest of the game until you time out trying to move your king into check