1000 ways of get injured playing chess

206 Wife hit me in the head cause i bragged i found a board i better playing than her.

207 My daughter hit be because i will not an her win.

208 The dog bit me because i pull out the chess board when he barks he want to go to the bark as my game takes hors before they are finished.

209 If your in prison and do not let a guy named Tiny(and he is anything but tiny) your in for a world of hurt and hate losing and rather take the beating.....

210 When 5 people are waiting to play and loser has to get up and you lost and refuse to get up for the next player.

211 Your playing for money and do not have enough to cover your bet and your opponent is in the mob

212 Call your opponent all kinds of names every time you check his king and you have been checking him for the 5th consecutive time.

213 When you only want to play white!

214 When you rigged the chess clock to go faster for your opponent.

215 Making a pass the opponents girl.

215 Your opponent finds out you dated his girl and you give the signal for her to call you tonight.

216 When your opponent is a girl and you call her a ......

217 About to get mated and you flip the table.

218 Your opponent spits in your face and you return fire.

219 Both sides holding a gun.

220 If your in a plane that is about to crash.

Half are repeated lol

I guess it doesn't matter.

P.s. what does +1 to a comment mean?

Never mind.. #221: your opponent has put a crocodile under your chair to make sure you don't cheat, unfortunately the director of the tournament is a mad gorilla, who sees the crocodile under your chair thinking its yours and throws a banana at your face and hits your eyes, you become blind in 1 sec and lose blundering queen the next move. Your opponent doesnt have enough with all that and throws a grenade at you,... and runs,,, you ,shocked and blind, explode . Jesus comes to revive you but the gorilla scares him and Jesus runs... unfortunately another crocodile reachs him too...

Suddenly u wake up, it was a terrible nightmare produced by your dirty twisted mind,but you realize that you lost on time while sleeping on the chess board. You go mad and kick the chair , breaking the foot (chair was made of steel) your opponent calls an ambulance but when you are in the ambulance, it crashes at 270 km/h against a tree because a cow crossed the road in that moment. You are badly hurt , exit of the ambulance somehow , its a miracle - u the only survival,... but an ovni ship lands on you and you FINALLY die by the impact

Opponent: 2 - you : 0

"+1" is the same as "like"

221. Slams his forehead into hid king, attemping to tie his shoe. (TRUE STORY. I seen this happen. Even oozed a couple drops of blood.)

Ok that last one should have been 222 as 221 was repeated

#223 Your playing against a giant and a square on the board is the size of a block and each piece is a minimum of 200 lbs and you  are at 180 lbs. lol

#224: castling produces you a claustrophobia attack, you have a heart attack and die, your opponent won on time

Opponent 1 - you 0

#225 Off of 224. Just before you thought you were going to die a vampire bits you and converts you to a vampire. Your opponent is a vampire hunter and slays you instantly.

#226: You play dinner-chess: every material, every piece you take from your opponent - you have to eat it. Opponent has just blundered a queen and 2 bishops,,and says: cu in the hospital (...2 min later, u = in hospital ...and opponent = won on time <3 )

Opponent 1 - you 0

227 the black piecces r chocolate colored. u eat every piece thinking its chocolate but it is just normal pieces

228 You ate piece you captured. But then found out that is where the guy hid his cocaine so now he has to cut you till he can not stop because he needs his hi after the games.

llloll is that an alternative way to #226 ? if it is, great

229 someone is reading a chess book and drops it on you

xD

#230: you feel thrsty and see your opponent's cup with water, making profit of your that your opponent got distracted with a 98 year old grandma in bikini walking over there, u can't resist and drink it - HUGE MISTAKE -Your opponent's  cup with water contains 9 dosis of viagra because your opponent is a 103 years old horny seeking every single grandma in his 50m radius... Opponent turns to the board side and inmediately sees you drinking it and says: gg

Opponent 1 - you 0

#231: You lose the game and try to compensate it breaking your opponents arm. But, what a coicidence, your opponent is an aikido master and in 2 sec. you are screaming of pain on the floor

232 aids injection by acident insted of a polio one.

#233: After playing 17 hours of chess in a row very focused ,, you forget to go to the bath and die by renal disease.

234. Your opponent with a mask picks up his king ready to castle, wait that doesn't look like a king it's a bottle of poison and he sprays it right in front of your face and the last thing you see is:the most deadliest poison in the world.