1000 ways of get injured playing chess
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#266: the black hole absorves you while playing a relaxing live chess game after your journey
after u lose, u take the game too seriously and throw a pawn at ur opponents' forehead and a physical fight starts after that.
you lose live chess which means you dont have a life any more
270. Before you start the match, you poison your opponent's drink, but during the game he switches your drink with his drink, and when you drink, you get poisoned by yourself and go to hospital, opponent wins on time.
Opponent:100 (I think) you:3
271. After winning a chess game, you say to your opponent:
"You could have won my rook"
Oops! Your opponent was half deaf. Instead he heard:
"You could have won me crook"
He gets mad for calling him a crook. He calls reinforcements...but nothing happens. You laugh. He steps aside and...a warrior with a sword! You run...when you turn around you see 10 warriors now...no 20...no 30! When you turn back around you see a person with a flamethrower he burns you up...
You wake up, finding yourself (dead) in 100 burned pieces.
Opponent: 100 burnt pieces of you You: 1
KenGeneQ wrote:
271. After winning a chess game, you say to your opponent:
"You could have won my rook"
Oops! Your opponent was half deaf. Instead he heard:
"You could have won me crook"
He gets mad for calling him a crook. He calls reinforcements...but nothing happens. You laugh. He steps aside and...a warrior with a sword! You run...when you turn around you see 10 warriors now...no 20...no 30! When you turn back around you see a person with a flamethrower he burns you up...
You wake up, finding yourself (dead) in 100 burned pieces.
Opponent: 100 burnt pieces of you You: 1
Perfect. Only 1 question:Â
...will the burnt pieces of you become bigger and grow until they become 100 copies of you or... just feed the plants, increasing plant's IQ ?
Idrinkyourhealth wrote:
KenGeneQ wrote:
271. After winning a chess game, you say to your opponent:
"You could have won my rook"
Oops! Your opponent was half deaf. Instead he heard:
"You could have won me crook"
He gets mad for calling him a crook. He calls reinforcements...but nothing happens. You laugh. He steps aside and...a warrior with a sword! You run...when you turn around you see 10 warriors now...no 20...no 30! When you turn back around you see a person with a flamethrower he burns you up...
You wake up, finding yourself (dead) in 100 burned pieces.
Opponent: 100 burnt pieces of you You: 1
Perfect. Only 1 question:Â
...will the burnt pieces of you become bigger and grow until they become 100 copies of you or... just feed the plants, increasing plant's IQ ?
The living thing died. It can't grow. Maybe plants can eat it in a certain way like sun picks it up and gives it to the plants...NOT. Maybe some birds will just find it on the ground and try to eat it.
#272: Not everything goes well for you in 15/2/14: after losing the match out of time, you are in the next game and you are just 2 moves from checkmating the opponent. Your opponent makes the sickest move ever and suddenly you need another 18 moves to win, but your clock rings - your time is out.... and there is a black-mamba inside. Your opponent is just allergic to snakes and dies...
...BUT the opponent told in his will that he will give a SURPRISE BOX to the last man who beats him in life. You jump happy, starting to make plans to make your new toilet made of gold....But you have to self-control sessions because you have mental-problems when u see too much money and go on tilt, 5 months session... After all you control yourself but still u call Bill gates and invite him to eat in a McGoldens restaurant (fast food for billionaires). Bill Gates says Ok, cu there at 27:20 ( billionaires have their own time because they are so rich that they decide when the day ends,..not the clock)..You are so stressed of happiness that u can't sleep and the next day you are finally ready, you have been training for this day with your self-control sessions,...
you open the surprise box...but there is a container with an electric pinned bolt...and with a note on it ''OPEN ME , pin: 118 '' ...You take a dEEEEP breath and put the pin, you are SWEATING of happiness, but the container didn't contain money.... it contained......
Ununoctrium-118
Bye bye and gg.
Lolololololololol!
273. You're playing 5 games against the same opponent with the same colour on online chess, and you are 2 queens up for all of the 5 games. You're opponent looked at your profile, and oops! You typed your house address in your profile. He buys missiles and targets your house...and BOOM! And you are inside the house about to checkmate your opponent in one of the games...and you time out for all of them (because you were vaporised)
Opponent:5 you:0
Ololo #274: after reading the #273 you decide to never play 5 games against the same opponent... u play 11 games against 11 different opponents and win 11/11...u arrive at home tired, the kitchen is on fire, the salloon is on fire, the roof is on fire, you need to go to the toilet... but it is on fire, you turn back to go to bed and sleep a bit .....your bedroom is on fire. Suddenly u remember that it's time to feed your .... your cat is on fire. You decide not to feed your cat. You feed yourself instead...with cat food,... which is also on fire. You die ...on fire.
Opponents 1(x100=100) - you 11
PS: next time delete the address from your profile.
lol
Fire fire fire fire fire...lol
275. After reading 274 you decide to make your house wet so that it doesn't go on fire. You play 100 live chess games and you were very tired and forget to turn off the tap and your house gets flooded...and you drown.
Opponents: 0 and your dead body You:100
276. Spam in a forum and get haunted down
277. After winning a game against your opponent, he says " good night" (it was night time). You thought he said good knight which you had in the game, you start to feel proud. You keep your head up high all the time. One day, you still feel proud, you looked up at the sky...while crossing the road...and get hit by a car. And inside the car is your opponent smiling.
Chess games:Opponent : 0 You: 1
Knockdowns: Opponent :1 You:0
Feb 16, 2014
0
#356
Playing in a treehouse you built yourself. While you were drunk. Which weighs more than the tree its in.
xD 277
Lol
What does xD mean?
279. Your playing a game outside. Your in a winning position. Your opponent says to you:"Look up!". You look up...at the sun. You get blinded, you try to move a piece, but you move your king instead. You keep on moving your king, until he checkmates you in the centre.
Chess games: Opponent: 1 you:0
Kills (for eyes): Opponent:2 you:0
This actually happened to me back in 1986: I was playing in a club championship, and given the fact that I had to work retail, I had to miss a round, and so I had to do a "Simul" the following week, against the current opponent and the "make up game opponent". I had black on the left hand board, and white on the right hand board, and it was my turn to move on both boards, and I stretched out both my hands to move the "h pawns on both boards, and promptly pulled a muscle"!! (LOL). Whatever you do, please don't try this at home! I was thinking of filing a workman's compensation claim since my boss made me do this, but it would have been denied since this pulled muscle did not occur on company premises. Regardless, I was forced to withdraw from the tournament since my boss would not allow me to have off every night when this club met.
To the poster regarding the 15 queens, a few years ago, my first round of a tournament occurred on April Fools Day, so I gave myself an extra queen where I put it on f1, and gave my opponent a regular army. He kept on looking at the chess clocks as he felt I was playing some sort of trick, and finally I said "Adjust" and promptly removed my extra queen and put the bishop on there. My opponent asked if he could have an extra queen as well, and I stated, that I had dropped that queen at the last tournament (LOL). My opponent and I had a good laugh over that one, and about 5 hours later, we had a hard fought draw and were still laughing! Hope everyone enjoyed!
davidacole wrote:
This actually happened to me back in 1986: I was playing in a club championship, and given the fact that I had to work retail, I had to miss a round, and so I had to do a "Simul" the following week, against the current opponent and the "make up game opponent". I had black on the left hand board, and white on the right hand board, and it was my turn to move on both boards, and I stretched out both my hands to move the "h pawns on both boards, and promptly pulled a muscle"!! (LOL). Whatever you do, please don't try this at home! I was thinking of filing a workman's compensation claim since my boss made me do this, but it would have been denied since this pulled muscle did not occur on company premises. Regardless, I was forced to withdraw from the tournament since my boss would not allow me to have off every night when this club met.
To the poster regarding the 15 queens, a few years ago, my first round of a tournament occurred on April Fools Day, so I gave myself an extra queen where I put it on f1, and gave my opponent a regular army. He kept on looking at the chess clocks as he felt I was playing some sort of trick, and finally I said "Adjust" and promptly removed my extra queen and put the bishop on there. My opponent asked if he could have an extra queen as well, and I stated, that I had dropped that queen at the last tournament (LOL). My opponent and I had a good laugh over that one, and about 5 hours later, we had a hard fought draw and were still laughing! Hope everyone enjoyed!
nice story, +1